Why We Make Excuses - Deepstash

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Making Excuses

Making excuses about our social transgressions comes natural to us, as we experience guilt or shame upon committing the error. The excuse is our attempt to lessen the potential (or imagined) blame from others or even ourselves.

Example: Giving the excuse of being too busy to call up a friend on their birthday works both ways, as apart from saving our face, we also mask the fact that we are a thoughtless and negligent entity.

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The Nature And Dynamics Of An Excuse

  • An excuse can provide us a sense of control on our lives, viewing our mistakes as an anomaly.
  • Shifting responsibility to an external force seems safer than a simple apology ("Sorry, I had a flat tire".)
  • It helps maintain our social ties and positive perceptions of our colleagues and acquaintances.
  • An excuse can also be an attempt to manipulate the emotions of others.
  • Excuses help us mask our bad habits by comparing them with worse ones.

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Excusing Others Behaviour

Excusing the behaviour of our friends and loved ones can help us keep the relationship intact, and provides us with a tool to cover up the relationship issues and the internal problems that have no apparent solution except suppression.

In extreme cases this leads to bigger problems of domestic violence and other forms of abuse.

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Confronting Our Excuses

  • Coming in terms with our shame and guilt and confronting the problem head on is a better way to correct our wrongdoing and learn from past errors.
  • When we tolerate the sensation of public shame, we move towards accepting of our mistakes and learning from them.

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CURATED BY

luciow

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