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Do You Have Fear of Abandonment? (Signs and Ways to Overcome It)
Overcoming the fear of abandonment
- The first step in overcoming the fear of abandonment is to realise that you are worthy of love, flaws and all.If you are in a relationship, don't allow it to become your identity or the center of your worth.
- Become emotionally self-reliant. A relationship does not define you. Remind yourself often that it is not another person's job to make you feel emotionally secure. That security comes first from you.
- Consider where your fear of abandonment started.
- You may never entirely eliminate your fear of abandonment, but you can control your reactions to the fear. When you recognise fearful moments in your relationship, you can channel the thoughts into positive self-talk.
- Accept the idea of being alone. If you have a relationship that ends, see it as an opportunity to embrace a season of singleness. Your worth is not based on your relationship status.
- Your fear of abandonment causes you to fixate on your partner to the exclusion of any other friendships. To have a balanced life, you need friends beyond one singular person. You need a network of people who can be your support system.
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Examine your history
This goes back to your childhood.
For example: if you’re drawn to the excitement of meeting and starting a relationship with someone who has a lack of morals, character and is untrustworthy, try to find out about how your parents’ unhealthy habits have affected your choice in partners.
You are part of the problem
If you have a fear of abandonment and rejection and you are constantly ‘setting’ up scenarios that lead to your disappointment, you are the puppeteer controlling this.
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That reticence to ever ask someone out on a date probably plays out in your failure to move to a new city, to take that new job or the timidity around your co-workers.
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People don’t like it when someone changes or does something that makes them feel awkward or insecure. They will think he’s crazy, selfish, arrogant. If you want to do something incredible, you have to become comfortable with being different from the rest.
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As cliche as that sounds. Most of us give up on something we’re passionate about too soon. But anyone who’s been successful has a tale of struggle and perseverance to share.