What Causes A Low Self-Esteem
Causes of low self-esteem are often traced back to negative early childhood experiences, such as frequent punishment or neglect, chronic abuse, bullying, and lack of affection.
We form our bottom line (how people treat us) in childhood. Based on the bottom line, we form our "Rules for Living," which are strategies for dealing with life.
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- Ignore all those "positivity" advice. To hear "You're actually awesome" or "You should be more confident" does not help. It only makes you feel more inadequate or guilty of your behaviour.
- Focus elsewhere. There is no direct way to improve self-esteem. It is a by-product of a fulfilled life. Instead, pursue goals that really matter to you. Take care of the five levels of basic human needs, as described in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
- You expect people to mistreat you. When people are friendly to you, you can easily mistake it for love and scare them away.
- It makes you have a lower hand in the relationship. You may bear things in a relationship that you shouldn't stand for.
- Though you may be very gifted, you may not know how to show it and make it difficult for your employers to appreciate your talents. During a meeting, people with low self-esteem will keep quiet or speak weakly. During daily conversations, they say sorry and maybe too often.
- It can lead to depression.
The five basic needs are physiological, safety, love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization.
To focus elsewhere, it can be summarised as follows:
- Deep connection with loved ones
- A healthy body
- Sense of control
- A meaningful life purpose
- Recognition and respect from others
- Sense of security
- Creativity
As you equip yourself with the skills to fulfill the above needs, you'll forget about self-esteem. Then, one day, you'll find you've become a confident person.
The most common symptoms are:
- Not trusting your own opinion
- Always overthinking
- Afraid to take on a challenge
- Hard on yourself but lenient with others
- Frequent anxiety and emotional turmoil
Lesser-known symptoms are being a workaholic, and either overachieving or underachieving.
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Self-esteem refers to a person's overall sense of self-value. essentially your opinion about yourself. It can encompass a range of factors such as your sense of identity, your self-confidence, feelings of competence, and feelings of belonging.
- Self-esteem is about more than just generally liking yourself—it also means believing you deserve love and valuing your own thoughts, feelings, opinions, interests, and goals.
- Having self-esteem not only impacts how you feel about and treat yourself—it can also play a role in how you allow others to treat you.
- Use positive affirmations correctly and make them more believable.
- Identify your competencies and find opportunities that accentuate them.
- Learn to accept compliments, even if they make you uncomfortable.
- Eliminate self-criticism and introduce self-compassion.
- Affirm your real worth.
Many of us recognize the value of improving our feelings of self-worth. When our self-esteem is higher, we not only feel better about ourselves, we are more resilient as well.
That said, it is certainly possible to improve our self-esteem if we go about it the right way. Here are five ways to nourish your self-esteem when it is low: it is low:
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