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Black Stripes

@bstripes

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Symptoms of a Low Self-Esteem

The most common symptoms are:

  • Not trusting your own opinion
  • Always overthinking
  • Afraid to take on a challenge
  • Hard on yourself but lenient with others
  • Frequent anxiety and emotional turmoil

Lesser-known symptoms are being a workaholic, and either overachieving or underachieving.

@bstripes

Symptoms Of Low Self-Esteem And The Root Causes of It

lifehack.org

Causes of low self-esteem are often traced back to negative early childhood experiences, such as frequent punishment or neglect, chronic abuse, bullying, and lack of affection.

We form our bottom line (how people treat us) in childhood. Based on the bottom line, we form our "Rules for Living," which are strategies for dealing with life.

  • You expect people to mistreat you. When people are friendly to you, you can easily mistake it for love and scare them away.
  • It makes you have a lower hand in the relationship. You may bear things in a relationship that you shouldn't stand for.
  • Though you may be very gifted, you may not know how to show it and make it difficult for your employers to appreciate your talents. During a meeting, people with low self-esteem will keep quiet or speak weakly. During daily conversations, they say sorry and maybe too often.
  • It can lead to depression.
  • Ignore all those "positivity" advice. To hear "You're actually awesome" or "You should be more confident" does not help. It only makes you feel more inadequate or guilty of your behaviour.
  • Focus elsewhere. There is no direct way to improve self-esteem. It is a by-product of a fulfilled life. Instead, pursue goals that really matter to you. Take care of the five levels of basic human needs, as described in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

The five basic needs are physiological, safety, love and belonging, esteem, and self-actualization.

To focus elsewhere, it can be summarised as follows:

  • Deep connection with loved ones
  • A healthy body
  • Sense of control
  • A meaningful life purpose
  • Recognition and respect from others
  • Sense of security
  • Creativity

As you equip yourself with the skills to fulfill the above needs, you'll forget about self-esteem. Then, one day, you'll find you've become a confident person.

The Law Of Effect

Developed by psychologist Edward Thorndike, the law of effect states that any behaviour that is positive or leads to satisfaction in a specific situation is likely to be repeated when that same situation arises again. Behaviours that lead to unease or discomfort tends to not be repeated.

Example: If we practice for a public talk and give an outstanding performance, leading to huge applause and subsequent praise, we are more likely to practice for our next performance.

What Is the Law of Effect in Psychology?

thoughtco.com

In the Law Of Effect experiments, Edward Thorndike used a cat that was kept in a puzzle box with a lever, and could only go out by pressing the lever.

This and other behavioural studies on animals led the psychologist to publish the law of effect in his 1911 book Animal Intelligence.

  • The Law of Effect has two parts, and records contrasting behaviours. If the effect is positive and leads to satisfaction, it forms a connection in the mind and will be repeated.
  • The actions that lead to negative effects or consequences, or which lead to discomfort for the doer, are less likely to be repeated as they will not form a connection in the mind. Example: Getting a speeding ticket makes it less likely to drive at full speed.

Similar experiments conducted by B.F. Skinner, in which animals were kept in puzzle boxes with levers, led to a modified theory called Operant Conditioning.

The concept of reinforcement was introduced in the original law of effect theory, with reinforcements inserted in the positive and negative actions of animals, instead of waiting for them to try them out for themselves.

Paleontology

National Geographic defines paleontology as “the study of the history of life on Earth as based on fossils.”

This means the remains of everything from single-celled living things, fungi, and bacteria to plants and animals (and dinosaurs).

Things to Know About Paleontology

phdstudies.com

These include:

  • the study of microscopic fossils (micropaleontology)
  • the study of fossil plants (paleobotany)
  • the study of pollen and spores produced by land plants and protists (palynology)
  • the study of invertebrate animal fossils (invertebrate paleontology)
  • the study of prehistoric human and proto-human fossils (human paleontology)
  • the study of the processes of decay, preservation and the formation on fossils (taphonomy)
  • the study of fossil tracks, trails and footprints (ichnology)
  • and the study of the ecology and climate of the past (paleoecology).

Paleontology is the study of the history of life. Because that history is written in the fossil and geological record, paleontology allows us to place living organisms in both evolutionary (life-historical) and geological (earth-historical) context.

It is this contextual background that allows us to interpret the significance of characteristics of living organisms, and the significance of biological events occurring today.

While many paleontologists pursue careers in academia, there are other options as well.

  • Some end up working as geological surveyors, while others work in the commercial sector for oil, coal, and gas companies.
  • Others pursue fulfilling careers as museum curators, geoscientists, and oceanographers.
The Beast in our lives

The Beast has many forms. The Doom-Anxiety Beast. The Regret Beast, or the Despair Beast.

The Beast has specific characteristics. It erodes your feeling of control and eats away at your ability to function when you least expect it. But it can never entirely take away that last bit of agency. This bit of agency can be used to control the Beast.

How to Handle the Beast

raptitude.com

The Beast can't stop you from standing up straight - physically. It may want you to lower your head and shoulders. But an upright posture symbolizes resilience in the face of suffering.

Be your full height. Do it again and again.

The Beast's presence makes you feel like you can't possibly live until it is gone.

However, history proves this is false. Human beings have lived with Beasts forever, often for years. Life still happens during that time. Choices are still made, and good things are still achieved.

When you feel the Beast is pulling at you, do something that will improve your situation even is small ways. Straighten a crooked picture or picking up the laundry off the floor.

The point is to exercise the small bit of agency you do have. One little act of defiance shows that you will not be clamped down. Do anything to weaken the Beast.

Physical exertion and cleaning is a superpower to overcome the Beast. A little of either can change the course of your day.

Do a movement routine to weaken the Beast. Get the house to a tidyish state - a single room if you can't. Keep it that way as best as you're able.

It is a great relief to describe your experience to someone.

The goal is not to solve your problem. The goal is to break the illusion that something unique has gone wrong for you.

Altruistic behaviours promote wellbeing

Formal volunteering, monetary donations and random acts of everyday kindness promote wellbeing and longevity.

  • Studies show that volunteering correlates with a 24% lower risk of early death, a lower risk of high blood glucose, and a lower risk of inflammation levels connected to heart disease.
  • In one study, participants who showed simple acts of kindness, such as buying coffee for a stranger, had lower activity of leukocyte genes related to inflammation.
  • Participants who showed acts of kindness became more pain-resistant.
  • Grandparents who regularly babysit their grandchildren have a 37% lower mortality risk than those who don't provide such childcare. That is a larger effect than may be achieved from regular exercise.

Why being kind to others is good for your health

bbc.com

It is not surprising that kindness and altruism should impact our physical wellbeing. People are immensely social. When we are interconnected and are truly useful to others, it influences our wellbeing.

During the first half of 2020, Britons donated £800m more to charity, half of Americans have recently checked on their elderly or sick neighbours. Americans and Australians left teddybears in their windows to cheer up children. A French florist placed 400 bouquets on cars of hospital staff.

A third of how empathetic we are is down to our genes. But it does not mean people born with low empathy are lost.

No matter where we start, we can all improve in empathy.

  • Try to look at the world from another person's perspective for a moment each day.
  • Practice mindfulness and loving-kindness meditation.
  • During lockdown, take care of pets or read emotionally-charged books.
Schedule Time To Worry

Set aside 30 minutes each day to worry and make it consistent. Then, whenever you catch yourself worrying outside of that time frame, remember that the time to worry is later.

Worrying can be an endless activity and putting a timeframe on it helps to contain it and shift it from rumination to problem solving.

A Simple but Effective Trick to Stop Worrying So Much

psychologytoday.com

Job opportunities

Artificial Intelligence will rule the jobs of the future. Future jobs are divided up into:

  • People who build artificial intelligence.
  • People who tell the machines what to do and determine what to do with their output.
  • Celebrities: Actors, sports players, artists, writers, etc. in the entertainment industry. 

How to prepare your kids for jobs that don't exist yet

fastcompany.com

The most significant opportunities will be a combination of the following:
  • people who have good training in computer science
  • people who know how the machines work
  • people who also understand the needs of society and the organization.
Humanities

Our ability to make sense of the world is our biggest asset. While artificial intelligence is good at repetitive tasks, humans are good at discovering creative solutions. 

  • A liberal arts education might be the best antidote to automation. Studying art, philosophy, history, sociology, psychology, and neuroscience could help young people to have a broad range of knowledge that they can use to direct artificial intelligence.
  • Nurturing creative thinking will help prepare your child for the future.

Children should be multi-disciplined. The focus of schools from the Industrial Age is to become really good at one thing. But this is dangerous for the next generation.

Encourage kids to become good at more than one thing. Children should be knowledgable about more than one subject area, giving them adaptability. Or, let them try out a lot of different stuff. Having a variety of experience will be very valuable.

Stay tech-savvy

Expect change. Fifty years ago, social media marketers were unimaginable. We can't anticipate how artificial intelligence and automation will change the job landscape.

Wisdom is earned

We can only earn wisdom. It cannot be given to us. When we receive answers from someone else, we might achieve the desired outcome, but the solution comes from dependence, not insight.

There is nothing wrong with buying insight. The problem is when we think the insight of others is our own.

Thinking For Oneself

fs.blog

Wisdom is not as simple as just reading. The rules and simplicities given by others may make us feel we're getting brighter, but it is not real.

Owning wisdom requires a discipline to continue learning and not to shun the details and complexity. It is boring. It takes time. But it is the only way.

Common career advice is changing

In the last few years, experts describe the current labor market as "candidate-driven," meaning that job seekers hold more power than employers. This means that you shouldn't rely on "age-old" guidance.

Standard advice used to be to stay in a job for at least two years and not to leave until you have your next one lined up. While that was true in the job market 20 years ago, it is not necessarily true in the constantly changing market.

Setting the Record Straight on Switching Jobs

hbr.org

  • It used to be that when you left a job, you were seen as a traitor. Now companies make efforts to ensure people leave on good terms. They have programs that keep the door open in case employees want to return.
  • Not only is there less risk in letting your manager know you're looking, but there may also be upsides. Your boss may want to figure out how to keep you.
  • If staying with the company isn't realistic, you may find ways to continue to work with the company. But the conversation may be uncomfortable and be far worse if you suspect your manager won't be understanding.
  • This conventional wisdom is not always realistic. You may need to relocate because of your spouse's job, for example.
  • Staying for only a short term no longer hurt a resume. 32% of employers expect job-jumping. Millennials are especially prone to brief stays at jobs. 70% quit their jobs within two years.
  • Gaps in job history are no longer seen as problematic either, but you have to show that your time off wasn't a waste of time.
  • However, you should avoid jumping around if you can because of the emotional drain of finding a new place, new friends, and reproving yourself.

Don’t quit your job before allowing your current employer to make a counteroffer. If you're a valuable employee, smart companies will attempt to convince you to stay, especially in industries where there's talent scarcity or specialized roles.

But most counteroffers are bad for all parties. Generally, 80% of those accepting counteroffers leave within a year and half of those who accept them restart their job searches within three months.You should make a decision based on the unique situation you are in and analyse both alternatives.

Your focus should be on finding interesting work and not worry about lateral moves.

The old model was that you were Assistant VP, the VP, then Senior VP. But in companies today, there's often nowhere to go in your current job or another one.

Ideally, it would be best if you never were looking for your next job, because you enjoy what you do. When you are fully immersed in what you do and can function at your best, searching for your next one is unnecessary.

Even if you've found a role that you love, you should continue to learn and grow to keep up with the changing world. Continuously look for projects that give you more skills and do things outside of your comfort zone, so you add to your skillset.

Improve Your Resume

Most people use powerful action-oriented verbs, and short sentences highlighting their accomplishments in their resumes and LinkedIn profiles.

Bullet points and buzzwords do not ring a bell with the recruiter anymore.

Improve Your Résumé by Turning Bullet Points into Stories

hbr.org

Instead of spilling words with no head or tell, try to incorporate compelling before-and-after stories in your resume.

Your Hero's Journey can include your earlier companies (when you were a fresher), the challenges you faced and how you overcame them. You can add how the organizations are better because of you and can elaborate when needed, using bullet points.

Hiring managers and recruiters will be reading your stories about your accomplishments in a story format, instead of a bulletin board.

They will see what you have done (and how) and what you can do for them. You can sell your skills by writing a compelling story, preferably non-fiction.

Even your LinkedIn profile can be storified, adding pizzazz, flesh and blood in the cold words.

Writing in the first person immediately grabs the reader's attention while ending with giving out a helping hand makes the reader want to contact the candidate.

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