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Sorry to bother you, but do you say “sorry” too much? What to say instead
Overusing "I'm Sorry"
According to psychologists, we habitually apologize in our communication, but we can learn to be considerate without saying the word "sorry".
We don’t have to needlessly apologize for everything we do. Overusing the word "sorry" makes us feel timid, unconsciously diminishing our confidence.
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The Chance to Move Forward
When people focus on their core values, they seem to become more willing to sincerely apologize.
By understanding the many barriers to an apology— the indifference to another’s pain or the fraying of a relationship—we can glimpse what’s holding us back from saying “I’m sorry” in a particular situation.
From there, we have the opportunity to change course and let the healing begin.
How to Make a Good Apology
A high-quality apology has three elements:
- It accepts responsibility for the wrong and doesn’t even hint that outside forces, or the victim, caused the offender to do what they did.
- It’s unqualified. If the apology contains a “but,” it fails. There’s time later—after the injury has had time to heal—to bring up any qualifications that might be relevant to future interactions.
- It offers to make amends to avoid the transgression in the future.
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- Acknowledge the opinions, feelings and needs of others
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Cautionary Hope
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People With High Hopes
People with high hope have a good number of difficult, challenging goals, and a good scorecard of achievement.
They have lower rates of anxiety and depression and greater happiness. They cope well with problems that consume the rest of the world.
Hope = Goals + Agency + Pathways
Instead of wishful thinking, we need to know what we want (specific goals), and have the drive and passion to go towards it (agency) and should be able to generate methods and devices to achieve what we want (pathways).
When we do a sum total of these three, we get hope: Hope= Goals + Agency + Pathways