The messy, complicated truth about grief |
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Time heals physical wounds, but not mental or emotional wounds. Time reminds us of the past.
If you're still sad, that's because it's still real. They are still real. Time can change you, but it can't change them.
You may be tempted to tell the grieving to "move on."
But we do not move on from the dead people we love or the difficult situations we've lived through. We move forward, but we carry it all with us. Some of it gets easier, and some of it not. We are shaped by the people we love, and we are shaped by their loss.
Mourning the loss of a loved one isn't efficient or logical. It is different for each person. Grief can feel better and worse as time goes by.
We can not relegate all our heaviest grieving to specific days of the year. We will be reminded of details about the person at odd times.
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"Having someone wonder where you are when you don't come home at night is a very old human need." — Margart Mead
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