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What other cultures can teach us about forgiveness
It is then important to be considerate of other people's differences, whether it is a result of their culture or worldview.
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Key Ideas
Forgiveness takes time for most. Shock and anger often come before forgiveness. Deal with the hurt feelings before moving into forgiveness.
The act of forgiving is one of realizing that holding onto the anger and resentment no longer carries the same weight on us.
One roadblock people face with forgiveness is the idea of being seen as "weak" and saying that what the offender did is excusable.
It requires more strength to forgive. Staying angry, resentful, and vengeful can have a detrimental impact on your physical and emotional health as well as your relationships.
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Key Ideas
Identify the specific behavior that damaged you. Consider the person as a whole with positive and negative behaviors. The person is not the behavior, but the behavior is a part of that person.
If you feel safe communicating with the person who hurt you, talk about your feelings or write them to him.
Many of us have anxious and negative attachments to people who have hurt us in the form of anger, hate, resentment, irrational guilt or shame.
Removing the negative attachment through forgiveness will make you feel liberated and open you to the positive that life has to offer.
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Key Ideas
Shame is a universal experience. Shame enforces adherence to beneficial social norms.
Shaming is a tool and can be used for good or evil. We should use it when the outcome has a greater benefit for society, and when formal means of punishment have been exhausted. Shaming should ultimately lead to reform and reintegration and act as a deterrent against bad behavior.
Guilt is a private feeling of regret about something you did, and the discomfort leads to self-regulation regardless of exposure.
Shaming is about the possibility of being exposed to an audience.
Shaming can give the weak greater power. It can be used as a tool to encourage structural changes of institutions, organizations, and powerful individuals by exposing a transgressor to public disapproval.