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The gap between knowing and doing
We often know what we should be doing, but find there is a gap between knowing it and doing it.
What sets us in motion is usually external. We may suddenly have no choice, or someone may incentivize us. However, when it is internal, we often indefinitely postpone what we know we should be doing.
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Behaviour starts instinctive and conditioned
- A child learns about the world through reflex and conditioning. A baby cries, and someone comes to help. They do something and get rewarded.
- Then behaviour becomes reasoned and chosen. As a person grows, so reflex and conditioning are replaced by d...
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Seeking change as adults
As adults, when we want to change something we might seek help - join a gym, or take lessons, or see a coach. Regarding DILT, the teachers often teach from the bottom up. They give classes and tools and continue to encourage us.
But, people prefer efficiency instead of effectivenes...
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Using behavioural interventions
By using simple behavioural interventions, we can create helpful habits. Instead of only identifying a negative behaviour and then trying to avoid it, we can find a substitution which we love, and that will give us a sense of joy, such as eating a healthy snack or texting a friend.
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Why you can't do what you should do
A potential answer comes from Robert Dilt's logical levels of change, modelled in a hierarchy.
- Purpose (What else?)
- Identify (Who?)
- Values and beliefs (Why?)
- Capabilities (How?)
- Behaviours (What?) ...
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Behavior change: techniques to try
- If you are putting off a difficult conversation, identify what makes you feel really good, and do that when you get a moment. Doing so will remind you that you worth caring about. When you feel good, you feel more capable of doing the hard thing.
- Instead of "dump t...
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Related collections
Other curated ideas on this topic:
The gap between surviving and thriving
There is a gap between the state of surviving and thriving that needs to be closed before a thriving life can be embraced.
In the modern world, our senses are abused by artificial lights, sounds, and smells in the cities we live in. Our media devices fill us with more hel...
Generation Gap and Different Values
- As our parents are from an older generation, the things and events that shaped their world and their values are quite different from what we have seen in our formative years. Every child, no matter how bright or unique he or she may be is moulded according to the adults in charge, bringing ...
Know when to give up and move on
We should know when to stop doing something that's reached its natural endpoint, even if it means a great deal to us.
We need to understand that the most creative choice would be to see what's next.
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