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Authentic leaders have courageous conversations.
"Issues that aren’t talked out get acted out in snide remarks and innuendoes, higher absenteeism and turnover, and lower productivity and engagement. When you are discussing something sensitive, what is left unsaid is often what the conversation really needs to be about."
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Key Ideas
Stressful Conversations
Human beings love to gossip, chatter and jest, but some conversations can be stressful, confusing, and even embarrassing. To avoid conflicts and the avoidable pain it can bring, we tend to dodge a ...
The Three Basic Stress-Inducing Conversations
- While giving bad news to others, like giving feedback or firing someone, one can find it difficult to strike the right note.
- When a small sentence or even a word can be taken as a negative provocation and trigger an adverse reaction. Suddenly the conversation becomes intensely charged emotionally.
- A conversation where one resorts to profanity, manipulation, shouting to thwart the other person.
Preparing For A Stressful Conversation
- Be fully aware of one’s own vulnerabilities and shortcomings.
- Anticipate any specific problem that may occur, and try to rehearse it if possible.
- Understand that words are key that can make or break your conversation, and try to fine-tune and neutralize your phrasing.
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Key Ideas
Don't Avoid Conflict
- We tend to avoid conflict because we believe that it is bad, yet we continue to create it despite the fact.
- Conflict isn't essentially a bad thing. It gives us the information we need to know so that we could work with others more effectively to improve our relationships with them and to grow as individuals.
- In every conflict resolution phase, we must aim for: a solution, a plan, or an understanding.
Gem Statement
A gem statement is a statement that allows the opportunity to open up a new conversation with the hopes of compromisation and a solution.
This usually involves expressing your emotions with the main issue beneath all the surface anger or any other emotion being experienced while having a positive impact on the other.
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Let People Talk First
Let others to talk about themselves first. Then, you’ll be able to sell yourself more naturally.
If they are interested in what you have to offer, you can naturally transition into a p...
Ask Good Questions That Show You’re Engaged
Ask at least one question before changing topic to show you’re engaged. Gathering details makes it more likely that you’ll be able to establish a connection with the other person or find a way you can lend a hand.
Prepare For A Conversation Without Being Creepy
Take a look at the person’s LinkedIn or Twitter account to get an idea of his tone, interests, etc. You’re always at an advantage when you know more about a person. It will be easier to relate to him and you might avoid awkward conversations.