Know when to step outside yourself

Our complex cognitive system is able to imagine and anticipate the objective self, but is also inclined to dwell on negative thoughts such as "If only I'd..." and "I should have..."

Self-compassion is a trade-off with self-criticism. For some people, the balance between the two is...

Your internal monologue can be friendly, calm, and encouraging or critical and bullying.

It is possible to change your inner monologue. Fostering compassion on ourselves can benefit not only our individual health and happiness but also that of society.

Speaking to yourself with warmth and kindness can feel like a verbal hug by triggering the physiological memory of feeling safe.

A friendly facial expression and upright and open posture can positively influence your mind.

Self-criticism is often underpinned by a fear of not being good enough, being dismissed or devalued, or seen as undesirable. This triggers our threat system and brings out the worst in our brains.

We also live in a society that is always judging and evalua...

Self-compassion is not merely being kind. Compassion is best understood as turning towards suffering and taking action to reduce it.

Self-compassion is the ability to stand back and question why you feel this way, and a commitment to engage with pain at its source.

Validate, acknowledge, and reassure yourself.

If you wouldn't say it to a friend, don't say it to yourself. We would seldom tell a friend 'it's not that bad', or 'look on the bright side.' We need to recognise within ourselves when we're hurting.

Ground yourself during discovery with soothing rhythm breathing, muscle relaxation or mindfulness exercises.

Soothing rhythm breathing: With your shoulders back and chest open, slow and deepen your breath. The key is to maintain the smoothness of breath: Four or five secon...