We all know that moment when a relationship fight pushes us over the edge. It's when we wonder how this very same issue that upsets me so much can pop up again.

Dishes left piling up in the sink. Too much time scrolling through social media when we desire quality time. The tone of voice that makes us feel stupid. The personal jabs that leave us feeling raw.

The deeper issues that drive escalation is seldom about the content of the fight. The real issue is about the needs, vulnerabilities, and biases that get triggered again and again, creating a lens through which we view every interaction.

For example, if our partner mak...