Complementing empathy with perspective-taking - Deepstash
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Complementing empathy with perspective-taking

Empathy is a trap givers need to avoid. A busy person moved to empathy can spend too much time doing favours they cannot afford.

Managers can teach givers to be perspective takers, not just emphasisers. Instead of trying to imagine what other people are feeling, try to imagine what they are thinking and what their interests are. Givers should gather and use knowledge about other's interests and let a counterpart win on issues that matter less so they can win on issues they value most.

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MORE IDEAS ON THIS

The downside of employee generosity

Leaders recognise the importance of generous behaviour and desire more of it. But workers receive mixed messages about being generous. In promotion decisions, only one person advances. Productivity could also suffer. In competitive bonus pools, more money to the top performers means less for ...

57

321 reads

Givers and takers

Givers and takers

Employees can decide whether to act like givers or takers.

  • When they act like givers, they contribute without looking for anything in turn, such as offering assistance, sharing knowledge, or making valuable introductions.
  • When they act as takers

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740 reads

Setting limits on your availability

Givers are inclined to accommodate all the requests for help - neglecting their own responsibilities while being at the mercy of takers.

  • Instead of accommodating every request for help, givers need to set up boundaries. Set aside windows of quiet time during which yo...

59

187 reads

Understanding generosity

A challenge for managers is how to protect already-generous people from giving too much of their attention that could slow down their productivity and limiting selfish coworkers who feel they have a license to treat good people like doormats.

A solution involves helping givers act ...

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249 reads

Overcoming timidity with agency

Givers are often timid because acting in others' interest can make it difficult to assert your own.

Managers can help givers to separate timidity from generosity. They can teach givers to shift their frame of reference to advocate for others

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190 reads

Getting the best out of givers

Givers can be categorised into groups. None of these behaviours is necessary for generosity.

  • Some are hesitant to advocate for their own interests.
  • Some are willing to drop everything to help anyone at any time

59

184 reads

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Overcoming timidity with agency

Givers are often timid because acting in others' interest can make it difficult to assert your own.

Managers can help givers to separate timidity from generosity. They can teach givers to shift their frame of reference to advocate for others

Develop perspective taking

  • Put aside your feelings so that you can concentrate only on the other person’s perspective.
  • Use open ended questions that can help you draw out the interests and motivation that the person may not be verbalizing.
  • Be clear about your own position and the weaknesses it has.

Criteria for vetting an employer worth working with

  • Do you pay reasonable salaries? If your salaries aren’t at least competitive then we’re wasting each other's time. 
  • Do you treat your people well? A quality employer will be honest and highlight what steps they took to address those issues. 
  • Are you fina...

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