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Conflict Resolution Mistakes to Avoid

Conflict Resolution Mistakes to Avoid

Because conflict is virtually inevitable in relationships (and not necessarily a sign of trouble), you can reduce a significant amount of stress and strengthen your relationships at the same time if you build the knowledge and skills to handle conflict in a healthy way.

Destructive attitudes and communication patterns like being deffensive, overgeneralizing, mind-reading, not listening, stonewalling can exacerbate conflict in a relationship.

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Always Being Right

Always Being Right

It's damaging to decide that there's a "right" way to look at things and a "wrong" way to look at things and that your way of seeing things is right. 

Don't demand that your partner see things the same way, and don't take it as a personal attack if they have a different opinion.

Look ...

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58 reads

Avoiding Conflict Altogether

Avoiding Conflict Altogether

Rather than discussing in a calm, respectful manner, some people just don't say anything to their partner until they're ready to explode, and then blurt it out in an angry, hurtful way. This seems to be the less stressful route — avoiding an argument altogether — but usually causes more stress to...

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94 reads

Forgetting to Listen

Forgetting to Listen

Some people interrupt, roll their eyes, and rehearse what they're going to say next instead of truly listening and attempting to understand their partner. This keeps you from seeing their point of view, and keeps your partner from wanting to see yours! 

Don't underestimate the importance of...

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71 reads

Overgeneralizing

Overgeneralizing

When something happens that they don’t like, some blow it out of proportion by making sweeping generalizations. Avoid starting sentences with, "You always," and, "You never," as in, "You always come home late!" or, "You never do what I want to do!" Stop and think about whether or not this is real...

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58 reads

Being Defensive

Being Defensive

Rather than addressing a partner's complaints with willingness to understand the other person's point of view, defensive people deny any wrongdoing and avoid looking at the possibility that they could be contributing to a problem.

Denying responsibility may seem to alleviate stress in the s...

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88 reads

"Psychoanalyzing" / Mind-Reading

"Psychoanalyzing" / Mind-Reading

Instead of asking about their partner's thoughts and feelings, people sometimes decide that they "know" what their partners are thinking and feeling based only on faulty interpretations of their actions — and always assume it's negative!

It's important to keep in mind that we all come from ...

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78 reads

Playing the Blame Game

Playing the Blame Game

Some people handle conflict by criticizing and blaming the other person for the situation. They see admitting any weakness on their own part as a weakening of their credibility, and avoid it at all costs, and even try to shame them for being "at fault."

Instead, try to view conflict as an o...

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46 reads

CURATED FROM

CURATED BY

claudiaflorescu

Psychotherapist, CBT fanatic, community organizer, active citizen

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Conflict in relationships

Conflict in relationships

When one or both partners are not well-rested, tiny quarrels may end up in major rifts. 

Sleep loss triggers the many relationship behaviors and communication styles we know are most toxic to relationships such as silent treatment or berating your partner.

The importance of sleep in r...

How To Respond To The Silent Treatment

  1. Don’t Isolate: Maintain healthy relationships with family and friends to avoid feelings of loneliness.
  2. Hobbies: Engage in reading books or doing art, which can help us stay stable and strong, and can act as an outlet for our feelings.

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