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How to handle and learn from mistakes
The benefits of psychological safety in a workplace
The importance of empathy and active listening
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Most people enable the second choice
- I tell a "bad luck" story
- You sympathise and then share your own
- We both agree it was bad luck that was the cause
- Neither one of us learns
113
482 reads
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We process the world in a way that protects our identity
- Kanheman: we're all trying to create a positive narrative of our life story
- Identity protective cognition
- With the pain / loss, our identity gets attacked if we attribute it to our poor decision making
- So instead, we attribute it to luck
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620 reads
Don't reason to be right, reason to be accurate
- Reasoning to be right affirms your priors
- Reasoning to be accurate helps develop a more accurate mental model of the world
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Most people choose not to feel pain now
- People are willing to take a discount to preserve their self narrative
- They attribute the poor outcomes to luck
- Socialised the result to the world, ie it wasn't my fault, the outcome wasn't in my control
- You don't need to upda...
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433 reads
A social group can be a strong motivator to get better
- Getting a respected peer to think you're good, worthwhile to talk to, an equal --> that feels really good
- The goal of each person is to make better decisions and increase the probability of better outcomes
- Example: I won this hand of poker, but I think I played badly
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235 reads
Once you've agreed your beliefs are in progress, they aren't entrenched as your identity
- We've agreed that our beliefs are in progress and under construction
- You are no longer certain about your beliefs
- You have to be willing to hear the other side in order to make progress
- Your identity becomes about acknowledging uncertainty, how good are you at...
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249 reads
You need to be in a group to overcome the bias
- It's much easier to spot someone elses' bias vs your own
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Learning occurs when there's a lot of feedback tied closely in time to decisions and actions
- Decisions --> actions --> outcomes --> rewards or pain (ie positive or negative consequences)
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1.06K reads
An effective approach to uncertain systems is based on cognitive psychology
- how are you constructing a model of your opponent?
- how are you figuring out what the right strategy against them is?
- how are you picking the signal out?
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1.21K reads
Pain gets in the way of learning
- You need the pain in order for it to matter to you to learn
- but pain can get in the way of learning
- But when you're losing, your limbic system lights up and gets in the way of learning
- It does not feel good to lose
- It particularly gets in the way when ...
116
599 reads
Outcomes and decisions are loosely linked in some games
- Annie uses the example of poker, but it applies to other areas as well. There are uncertain systems where outcomes and decisions are loosely linked.
- In poker, you can have the best hand and get crushed or a poor hand and win
- How do you separate yourself from the outcomes and ...
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1.74K reads
Peer groups are highly influential on your learning
- If you're in a group of people who attribute outcomes to bad luck, you won't learn
- Surrounding yourself with people who constantly seek to update their mental models puts you on a very different learning trajectory
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399 reads
Having this type of group incentivises you to pay more attention to decisions as you make them
- You know a conversation about the decisions you made is going to happen
- You want to have interesting things to ask later
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293 reads
On our own, we have a very natural tendency to process the world in a way that supports our prior view of the world
- Even if you are aware of the biases, you're still susceptible to them
- Smarter people who know about them are even worse because:
- Once they know about the bias, they're overconfident in thinking they can avoid them
- The...
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349 reads
We all use mental models to help us predict the world around us
- We all have some sort of model(s) of how the world works and what's true and what's not
- That's what we're always doing - building models so we can act in it with intention
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790 reads
Humans have a choice: I can take the pain in the short term in order to learn in the long term or attribute it to luck and not learn
- I'm willing to take this pain that doesn't feel very good because in the long run it's going to help me learn
- I'm going to go in, examine my decision and see where I could have improved that would have increased the likelihood of a better outcome
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552 reads
The learning pod helps you disagree better (without being disagreeable)
- When someone disagrees with us, we can often feel it as an attack on our identity
- That can cause disagreeableness because the information being told is perceived as a threat
- Cause you to:
- be defensive or angry
- be dismissive
- discredit the other person o...
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244 reads
Bad luck stories have no point
- If you really lost because of bad luck, what's the point of telling a story about it
- There's nothing you can learn from it
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474 reads
The group can help create a feeling of tribalism
- The idea that you're different from other people is an important feeling you get from your tribe
- Since most people have confirmatory thinking, having a group that you identify with that values exploratory thinking helps you feel different and that you're doing something difficult
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234 reads
Create a charter for your group
- We want to focus on accuracy, not on being right
- We want to hold each other accountable
- We want to disagree without being disagreeable
- No one is defensive
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279 reads
The learning pod helps you catch more mistakes
- There's 100 learning opportunities and left to your own devices, you catch 5 of them
- The learning pod helps you catch 5 more
- That has a huge impact on your learning
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The learning pod helps you catch mistakes faster
- Knowing you're going to be accountable to a group helps you catch mistakes in the moment or right after making them
- Gets you to recognize mistakes in a window that you can actually do something about it
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260 reads
Create a group that consciously decides to spot biases for each other
- Groups that have a confirmatory style of thought enable one another to not learn and preserve identity
- Instead, create a group that has an exploratory style of thought
- The goal of the group is to create a more accurate mental model of the world
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224 reads
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Confirmation bias makes us prefer outcomes that we agree with, and a positivity bias causes us to focus on rewar...
The second arrow
The second arrow can manifest as shame ("I'm such a weak person...") anger ("How dare they...!"), guilt ("I don't deserve to..."), rumination ("If only...") or catastrophizing ...
Name the story
Emotions are the result of both what happens, and of the story you tell yourself about what happened.
- A victim story: it absolves you of your responsibility for what happened.
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