Situations don't cause feelings - Deepstash

Situations don't cause feelings

Sadness, depression, frustration, upset, and anxiety can only be produced by seeing a situation and then producing an interpretation of it and then believing that interpretation. So, you and I can only be overwhelmed by our thoughts about something, never the thing itself.

One person sees rain and gets sad because of their story about rain that they're believing ( "It's gloomy, it means I'll be cooped up.") . Another person sees rain and gets happy because of their story about rain ( "It's refreshing. It's romantic. It grows my garden"). It's the same rain in both cases. Rain has no meaning until we add it.

In both cases, it is the thought believed that is causing the feeling. Something happens, and we add the meaning of it.

75

255 reads

The idea is part of this collection:

How to Cope With Intrusive Thoughts

Learn more about books with this collection

How to overcome unwanted thoughts

How to manage intrusive thoughts

How to change your attitude towards intrusive thoughts

Related collections

Similar ideas to Situations don't cause feelings

Comparison often leads to minimization

Comparison often leads to minimization

The focus of comparing your emotions is often to minimize ether what you are feeling or what they are feeling. some examples include:

  • You might think that you don't have the right to be upset about something because someone else is going through something worse.
  • You might feel ...

Dealing with a chronic complainer: Validate, sympathize, deflect, redirect

  • Validate: Now that you've shown them you're listening, you can deploy the ultimate weapons for shutting chronic complainers down.
  • Next, it's time to sympathize. Try to make it as authentic as possible. Avoid all sarcasm as they will notice it, and...

Navigating the end of a friendship

  • Try to be honest with the person. Do it with kindness and just talk about your own emotional availability. "I realize that I'm not a good friend right now. I just don't feel very emotionally available."
  • Try to avoid "all or nothing" thinking. Frien...

Read & Learn

20x Faster

without
deepstash

with
deepstash

with

deepstash

Personalized microlearning

100+ Learning Journeys

Access to 200,000+ ideas

Access to the mobile app

Unlimited idea saving

Unlimited history

Unlimited listening to ideas

Downloading & offline access

Supercharge your mind with one idea per day

Enter your email and spend 1 minute every day to learn something new.

Email

I agree to receive email updates