The Different Types Of Contrarians - Deepstash

The Different Types Of Contrarians

  • The competitor contrarian may just be naturally competitive. Others might be working out past hurts in their interactions with you or they might actually be invested in one-upping you.
  • Gadfly contrarians. At their best, this person will bring up interesting counterpoints, forcing you to go just a little deeper than you otherwise would.
  • The left brain contrarian operates primarily from their logical brain. They don't mean to turn a casual chat in a debate, but their observant nature does.

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Some effiecient ways to talk to a contrarian without losing your cool:

  • In the moment, tell the person how it makes you feel when they try to override your opinion or feelings on an issue;
  • If you’ve already stated how the behavior makes you feel and your contrarian has acknowledged and sympathized with that and still plays devil’s advocate, call them out on it;
  • Change the subject, state you don’t wish to play the devil’s advocate game, or state how you prefer the conversation to go.

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Talking To A Contrarian

The first rule of conversing with a contrarian is learning why they are the way they are.

For most of us, being countered in an opposing way leads to us getting our hackles up or even shutting down. But often, the contrarian person might just want to harmlessly engage in conversation or better understand you.

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Ask for their point of view

To gain trust and build rapport, you need to hear out what the other person thinks without interrupting or disagreeing.

Try asking open-ended questions, like: "Why do you think that?"

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Avoiding a heated exchange

When we disagree with someone, it doesn't have to turn into a heated argument.

Staying mindful during the exchange allows us to select conversation and debate in ways that do not aggravate the situation.

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Defining difficult people

We are social creatures who desire validation. We feel good when others share our belief system. But we feel dejected when others do not value our inputs, crush our ideas, or ignore what we have to say.

These difficult people act in undesirable ways and give us permission to pass judgement and offload responsibility by blaming them for undesirable outcomes.

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