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6 Mental Habits of People Who Manage Their Emotions Remarkably Well

Anger is one powerful human emotion

It is also a very normal human emotion that needs to be expressed in a healthy way.  That takes emotional intelligence.

When anger comes knocking, and it will, we have to know how to deal with it appropriately. If mismanaged, it can take down company morale and sabotage your ability to lead and collaborate well.

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6 Mental Habits of People Who Manage Their Emotions Remarkably Well

6 Mental Habits of People Who Manage Their Emotions Remarkably Well

https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/6-mental-habits-of-people-who-manage-their-emotions-remarkably-well.html

inc.com

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Key Ideas

Chuck Swindoll

Chuck Swindoll

"The longer I live, the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we respond to it."

Anger is one powerful human emotion

It is also a very normal human emotion that needs to be expressed in a healthy way.  That takes emotional intelligence.

When anger comes knocking, and it will, we have to know how to deal with it appropriately. If mismanaged, it can take down company morale and sabotage your ability to lead and collaborate well.

Mental Habits to Mange Anger

  • Put boundaries on people who make you angry. 
  • Get to the bottom of why you're really angry.
  • Respond, don't react. Assess the situation and think about it rationally to arrive at sane conclusions and decisions.
  • Take a six-second pause during a heated exchange to quickly assess the costs and benefits of that action.
  • Be the first to reach out after an argument. Swallow your pride and make up with the person.
  • Shift to the positive. Think of the things you are thankful for. Understand why the person made an action that made you angry.

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Anger and Aggression
  • Anger: An emotion felt when we believe we have been wronged.
  • Aggression: is an act of expression of the anger, by our words our actions. Aggression can be insults, sarcas...
Validation and Boundaries
  • We can try and validate the anger felt by an individual by making them know that their anger is maybe justified while putting firm but respectful boundaries on their aggression.
  • We then need to be clear about what type of aggression we are willing to tolerate, setting boundaries on the unacceptable.
  • We may have to put our foot down and be ready to leave the conversation or escalate the issue, without falling into the trap of guilt and emotion.
  • If possible, we need to restart the conversation when things have cooled down, and diffuse the issue in a calm way.
Avoiding Speculative Self-Talk

Unchecked self-talk can easily turn into self-delusion. The stories we create almost always make you look like the good guy and cannot be termed as objective.

  • The way to get out of this speculative self-delusion is to avoid any speculation about other people's anger, at least initially.
  • Make sure to note down the facts of the situation. This can make the story less according to your gut instinct, and more towards the objective reality.

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Handle difficult people

Difficult people defy logic. They create unnecessary complexity, strife and worst of all stress.

90 % of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in ord...

Set limits

People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude.

Avoid this by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. Ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem. They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.

Rise above

Difficult people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. 

Distance yourself from them emotionally and approach your interactions like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos -- only the facts.

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Stigmatizing "bad" feelings

By stigmatizing uncomfortable feelings, we tend to eliminate the visibility of these emotions in society and people who feel sad or depressed believe they are the only ones who feel this ...

Understanding the source of the emotion puts you in a position to problem-solve it, which means you are back in control and can resolve the emotion.

Understanding the source of the emotion puts you in a position to problem-solve it, which means you are back in control and can resolve the emotion.
There are no bad emotions

Emotions are not “bad” or “good” but simply “comfortable” or “uncomfortable.” And even uncomfortable emotions (like sadness, anger etc) help us point issues we ignored about ourselves.

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