5. How You Look

5. How You Look

  1. While some people measure their self-worth by the numbers on a weight scale.
  2. Others determine their value based on their ability to attract attention with their appearance.

Role of media: Marketing strategies frequently target our insecurities about everything from ageing to weight gain.

Handsome face or a beautiful body won't last forever.

Wrinkles, a middle-age spread, gray hair, or a receding hairline can become catastrophic for anyone whose self-worth depends on their physical appearance.



How Do You Measure Your Self-Worth?



It‘s Not That Simple

While estimating the amount of material you require to renovate your room , would you use just a random stick to measure ? Probably not.

You'd use a proper measuring tape that would accurately help you calculate the dimensions. Yet,

  • When it comes to measuring self-worth, many people use something just as unreliable as a random stick.



4. What You Achieve

Sometimes people want to be known solely for their accomplishments.

  • That person who always brags about her latest business venture may only feel good about herself when she is talking about her accomplishments.
  • Or that person who just can’t stop beating himself up about that time that he failed, might struggle to move on because that one incident completely crushed his self-worth .

Accomplishments can make you feel good, but basing your entire self-worth on your achievements is like building your house on an unsteady foundation.

You’ll need to experience repeated success in order to feel good about yourself – and that’s hard to maintain over the long-haul.


What‘s your measuring stick?

We all have some sort of measuring stick that we use to determine our value as a human being.

  • When we feel like we’re measuring up, we feel good about ourselves.
  • But, when we feel like we’ve fallen short, our self-esteem can plummet.

Our measuring stick has so much influence over how we feel about ourselves, but

  • Most people aren’t even conscious of what they're using to determine their self-worth.
  • But they are conscious of the fluctuations they experience in how they feel about themselves.



Feeling Good About Who You Are
  1. Know what measuring stick you’re using to determine your value
  2. Measure your self-worth based on the factors you can control (like your values, spirit of showing up in failure, hardships you endured till now etc.)– not the external events in your life(like people, money, achievement, success-failure etc).
  3. When you know who you are - and you're pleased with the person you've become - you’ll maintain a sense of peace throughout life’s inevitable ups and downs.
  4. Rather than experience major fluctuations in how you feel about yourself based on your latest success or most recent failure, you’ll believe in yourself regardless.

Measure your self-worth by what your values are and who you are at your core. Doing so will help you focus on behaving according to your values, instead of chasing the things that will temporarily boost your self-esteem.



3. How Much Money You Have

People measure their self-worth by the size of their bank accounts.

  • Sometimes they feel like they just can’t acquire enough wealth to be “valuable enough.”
  • To prove their worth, they create a façade of wealth by going deeply into debt in hopes of a luxury car or beautiful home will help them feel good about themselves.

While money can definitely make your life a little comfortable but It doesn’t make sense to use money to determine your value as a human being.

The amount of money you earn or expensive possessions you own will never be enough to satisfy your need to feel worthy.


1. Who You‘re Surrounded By

People depend on others to give them value .

Individuals feel worthy by surrounding themselves with important people.

  • One may think her worth depends on how much praise she receives from others,
  • Other may only feel good about herself when she’s in a relationship.
  • Rubbing shoulders with rich celebrities fuels their self-importance.
  • A busy social life helps them feel valuable.

It's like chasing a moving target. You can’t control other people and you can’t please everyone all the time. If you base your self-worth entirely upon how others perceive you, you’ll never be able to receive enough praise or positive reinforcement to feel good about yourself.



2. What You Do

A career helps many people feel valued.

  • People say something like, “I’m the co-founder of XYZ company,” or “I’m a lawyer,” not because it’s what they do – but because it’s who they are.
  • Their career reinforces to them that they’re “somebody.”

Why it's a big risk?

  1. A health problem, economic downturn, or unexpected shift in the job market may interfere with your career and lead to a major identity crisis.
  2. Even a planned retirement could wreak havoc on your self-worth if your identity is tied to your job title.

In the absence of a high profile career, you won’t be able to feel good about yourself if you’ve always measured your self-worth by what you do.


Here are five common – yet potentially hazardous – ways people measure their self-worth:

1. Who You're Surrounded By

2. What You Do

3. How Much Money You Have

4. What You Achieve

5. How You Look


Deepstash helps you become inspired, wiser and productive, through bite-sized ideas from the best articles, books and videos out there.



Peter Drucker

“You can’t manage what you can’t measure.”



How Do You Measure Success?


Measuring happiness

According to psychologists, happiness and life satisfaction do not coincide. Life satisfaction requires individuals to take a step back to assess their lives while happiness mirrors positive and negative emotions that fluctuate.

Focusing on positive and negative emotions can lead to understanding well-being in a pleasure-based way. Happiness may be one of the elements in evaluating well-being but is not the only one.


How do we measure well-being?


Narrative Habits

The way we talk to ourselves about the events in our lives is subject to the same laws of learning and habit formation that physical behaviors are.

That means we can learn to talk to ourselves in specific ways just like we can learn to tie our shoes or say please and thank you.



10 Types of Negative Self-Talk (and How to Correct Them) | Nick Wignall