Breakups are hard as it is, but it gets more complicated when we are trying to move on from someone that wasn’t even our romantic partner.
An unrealized relationship is when we put someone on a pedestal, assuming that ours would be a great match. When nothing materializes and life takes a turn, it can be just as heartbreaking as a real romantic relationship and one can feel grief, sadness, rejection and disappointment.
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Time can heal these feelings of imaginary love or infatuation, which is often unrequited. Such feelings are an indication of our own emptiness, as we try to fill the vacuum by allowing such emotions to take shape.
Professional counselling can help find the root cause of this loneliness that is causing such feelings, especially if it happens often.
Even if the pain wasn’t logical, it is still pain. The need of the hour is to talk to your support group and cry if the need arises. If you need to go out, have some fun, grieve, sulk and simply express what you feeling, letting your heart out.
If talking isn’t your thing, you can put your feelings and thoughts in a journal, which is a great healing tool. If the person you have fallen for is your friend, you might want to move away from a friendship or take a break to allow your healing.
One can fall for a friend who is dating someone else and does not share the same feelings. Office infatuation is common, often with people who are unavailable or unapproachable.
The first step in forgiveness is to understand "why" someone acts the way they do. What are they trying to protect? What are they afraid of? What basic skills did they learn (or not learn) from their family of origin?
Understanding "why" breeds compassion and helps loosen the ties that bind us to blame.
When you are coping with something difficult in your life, it isn't uncommon for someone else to say " it could be worse."
Comparing your own pain and other emotions to others is common, but that does not mean that is always helpful
In other cases, comparisons can stifle growth, prevent self-compassion, and even make it more difficult to empathize with other people.
Some ways that comparing feelings might be harmful are listed below.
It’s probably best not to suppress or hold back one’s emotions, especially immediately after a breakup.
However, the emotions can be so intense that they may not be appropriate for public display, so take time out, go somewhere private, and sob it out. Scream it out. It’s normal.