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How to Spot and Stop Manipulators

Avoid Personalization And Self-Blame

Avoid Personalization And Self-Blame

A manipulator’s agenda is to exploit your weaknesses, it is understandable that you may feel inadequate, or blame yourself for not satisfying the manipulator. In these situations, it’s important to remember that you are being manipulated to feel bad about yourself and that’s not your fault nor is the problem at hand.

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Manipulation

... is an emotionally unhealthy psychological strategy used by people who are incapable of asking for what they want and need in a direct way, to control someone or something t...

Common Types Manipulators

The two most common types of manipulators are bullies and “victims”.

Bullies make you feel fearful and might use aggression, threats and intimidation to control you, while “victims” engenders a feeling of guilt in their target by acting hurt when denied something.

Gaslighting

The term refers to manipulation that gets people to question themselves, their reality, memory or thoughts. Gaslighters twist what you say and make it about them, hijacking the conversation or making you feel like you’ve done something wrong when you haven’t.

Gaslighted people often feel a false sense of guilt or defensiveness, as if they failed completely or did something wrong when they didn’t.

“Manipulation is an emotionally unhealthy psychological strategy used by people who are incapable of asking for w..."

Sharie Stines
Manipulation Techniques
  • The ‘foot-in-the-door’ technique consists of making a small and reasonable request, which then leads into a larger request. The initial appeal we supposed to make you feel more comfortable and invested in cooperating.
  • The ‘door-in-the-face’ technique consists of making a big request, having it rejected, then making a smaller one. Following the larger request, the smaller appeal seems reasonable comparatively.

“A manipulator doesn’t believe there are any win-win situations. If someone else wins, that means they lose, and t..."

Donald Miller
Dealing With Manipulators

Manipulators do most of the manipulation unconsciously, as a survival mechanism.

Manipulation stems as a defense mechanism of an unwillingly twisted mind and these people need professional help. While you don’t have to judge these people, you should always try to keep a safe distance until they begin to truly trust you and drop the act.

The Scorekeeper

Treats life as a contest in which they set the rules and frame the scoreboard in order to always win. He/she keeps tabs on owed favors and call them in when he/she wants to control you.