Personalization - Deepstash
Personalization

Personalization

Those who personalize their stressors tend to blame themselves or others for things over which they have no control, creating stress where it needs not be.

Those prone to personalization tend to blame themselves for the actions of others or blame others for their own feelings.

If any of these feel a little too familiar, that’s a good thing: recognizing a cognitive distortion is the first step of moving past it.

2

STASHED IN:

109

MORE IDEAS FROM How Cognitive Distortions Can Fuel Your Stress

Emotional reasoning

This one is a close relative to jumping to conclusions in that it involves ignoring certain facts when drawing conclusions. 

Emotional reasoners will consider their emotions about a situation as evidence rather than objectively looking at the facts.

“I’m feeling completely overwhelmed, therefore, my problems must be completely beyond my ability to solve them,” or, “I’m angry with you; therefore, you must be in the wrong here,” are both examples of faulty emotional reasoning.

Acting on these beliefs as fact can, understandably, contribute to even more problems to solve.

STASHED IN:

110

Jumping to conclusions

People do this all the time. Rather than letting the evidence bring the, to a logical conclusion, they set their sights on a conclusion. Its often negative and then look for evidence to back it up, ignoring evidence to the contrary.

The kid who decides that everyone in his new class will hate him, and ‘knows’ that they’re only acting nice to him in order to avoid punishment, is jumping to conclusions. 

1

STASHED IN:

107

Disqualifying the positive

Similar to mental filtering, those who disqualify the positive tend to treat positive events like flukes, thereby clinging to a more negative worldview and set of low expectations for the future.

Have you ever tried to help a friend solve a problem, only to have every solution you pose shot down with a "Yeah but..." response? You’ve witnessed this cognitive distortion firsthand.

1

STASHED IN:

109

Cognitive distortions

When you think about your life, it is quite possible that you mind is playing tricks on you that can distort your view. 

Cognitive distortions—where your mind puts a ‘spin’ on the events you see and attaches a not-so-objective interpretation to what you experience—happen all the time.

We all have cognitive distortions, which are simply tendencies or patterns of thinking or believing, and they are especially common in people with depression and other mood disorders.

1

STASHED IN:

196

Should statements

Those who rely on ‘should statements’ tend to have rigid rules, set by themselves or others, that always need to be followed — at least in their minds.

They don’t see flexibility in different circumstances, and they put themselves under considerable stress trying to live up to these self-imposed expectations. 

If your internal dialogue involves a large number of ‘shoulds,’ you may be under the influence of this cognitive distortion.

1

STASHED IN:

111

Mental filter

Those who tend towards mental filtering may gloss over positive events and hold a magnifying glass to the negative.

Ten things can go right, but a person operating under the influence of a mental filter may only notice the one thing that goes wrong. 

Add a little overgeneralization and all-or-nothing thinking to the equation, and you have a recipe for stress.

1

STASHED IN:

109

All or nothing thinking

This type of distortion is the culprit when people think in extremes, with no gray areas or middel ground.

All or nothing thinkers often use words like "always" and "never" when describing things. “I always get stuck in traffic!” “My bosses never listen to me!” This type of thinking can magnify the stressors in your life, making them seem like bigger problems than they may, in reality, be.

1

STASHED IN:

115

Magnification and minimization

Similar to mental filtering and disqualifying the positive, this cognitive distortion involves placing a stronger emphasis on negative events and downplaying the positive ones.

The customer service representative who only notices the complaints of customers and fails to notice positive interactions is a victim of magnification and minimization. 

Another form of this distortion is known as catastrophizing, where one imagines and then expects the worst possible scenario. It can lead to a lot of stress.

1

STASHED IN:

109

Overgeneralization

Those prone to overgeneratlization tend to take isolated events and assume that all future events will be the same.

For example, an overgeneralizer who faces a rude sales clerk may start believing that all sales clerks are rude and that shopping will always be a stressful experience.

It is a way of thinking where you apply one experience to all experiences and without knowing you apply it to multiple parts in your life.

2

STASHED IN:

110

Labeling and mislabeling

Those who label or mislabel will habitually place labels that are often inaccurate or negative on themselves and others.

“He’s a whiner.” “She’s a phony.” “I’m just a useless worrier.”

These labels tend to define people and contribute to a one-dimensional view of them, paving the way for overgeneralizations to move in.

Labeling cages people into roles that don’t always apply and prevents us from seeing people (ourselves included) as we really are.

It’s also a big no-no in relationship conflicts.

2

STASHED IN:

112

Deepstash helps you become inspired, wiser and productive, through bite-sized ideas from the best articles, books and videos out there.

GET THE APP:

RELATED IDEA

Feeling Great by David D. Burns

The Book in Five Big Ideas

  1. Your negative emotions result from your thoughts and not from the circumstances of your life.
  2. The negative thoughts that upset you are nearly always distorted and twisted.
  3. When you can change the way you think, you can change the way you feel.
  4. Negative feelings always say something good about you
  5. People may resist treatment because they have mixed or even negative feelings about recovery or will have to do something they don’t want to do.

STASHED IN:

22

What is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)?

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a psychotherapy method that can helps people learn to manage life’s problems by altering their patterns of thinking and behaving.  The theory behind this is that by changing the way you think and behave, your mood will also change.

CBT has been scientifically proven to be extremely effective for anxiety, depression, and many other mental and physical conditions.

1

STASHED IN:

23

Reframing situations

When facing potential stessors, the way we view what we're experiencing can greatly increase our stress—or minimize it.

  • Cognitive reframing is a time-honored, psychologist-recommended method of looking at things in ways that create less stress and promote a greater sense of peace and control.

If you don't already use this stress relief strategy regularly, you may want to consider it.

STASHED IN:

45