Manipulation

... is an emotionally unhealthy psychological strategy used by people who are incapable of asking for what they want and need in a direct way, to control someone or something to their advantage, often without anyone knowing it.

@zara_michaels

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Self Improvement

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Common Types Manipulators

The two most common types of manipulators are bullies and “victims”.

Bullies make you feel fearful and might use aggression, threats and intimidation to control you, while “victims” engenders a feeling of guilt in their target by acting hurt when denied something.

Gaslighting

The term refers to manipulation that gets people to question themselves, their reality, memory or thoughts. Gaslighters twist what you say and make it about them, hijacking the conversation or making you feel like you’ve done something wrong when you haven’t.

Gaslighted people often feel a false sense of guilt or defensiveness, as if they failed completely or did something wrong when they didn’t.

‘Mr. Nice Guy’

This manipulator might be helpful and do a lot of favors for other people, but they have secret expectations and not meeting them makes you out to be ungrateful.

Exploiting the norms and expectations of reciprocity is one of the most common forms of manipulation. 

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RELATED IDEAS

“Manipulation is an emotionally unhealthy psychological strategy used by people who are incapable of asking for what they want and need in a direct way. People who are trying to manipulate others are trying to control others.”

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IDEAS

Savor the good

Noticing and savoring the pleasant moments and thinking, "Wow, this is really great "can strengthen positive emotions.

In general, we tend to dwell on the negative side and not notice the positive things we experience.

People always remember how you made them feel.

Taking the focus off of yourself and putting it on someone else can help others perceive you in a better light: make someone feel appreciated, find a point of commonality to bond over or share something interesting you’ve learned.

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