Ask Yourself What You Can Learn
Failure can be a great teacher if you’re open to learning.
Think about what you could do differently next time. Then, you will ensure your failure has become a life lesson that helped you learn something.
Instead of seeing a failure as a burden weighing you down, look at it as a stepping stone toward your goals.
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Many successful people continue to fail regularly. Actors get rejected for roles, athletes get cut from the team, and business owners get turned down for deals.
Study what they did to bounce back. You might learn skills that can help you in your own life. It can be helpful to see that failure is something that everyone deals with.
You may have developed some irrational beliefs about failure at some point in your life. Perhaps you think failure means you’re bad or that you’ll never succeed. Or maybe you think no one will like you if you fail.
Those types of beliefs are inaccurate, and they can prevent you from doing things where you might not succeed. Make a point to identify the irrational beliefs that might be impacting your feelings and behavior.
If you struggle with bad habits when you’re stressed out—like smoking or eating junk food—create a list of healthy coping skills and hang it in a prominent place.
Then, use your list to remind yourself of the healthier strategies you can turn to when you’re feeling bad.
When you find yourself thinking that you’re a hopeless cause or that there’s no use in trying again, reframe your thoughts . Remind yourself of more realistic thoughts about failure such as:
You may need to repeat a phrase or affirmation to ward off negative thoughts or to reinforce to yourself that you can bounce back.
Sometimes, failure becomes debilitating. If you’re struggling to function after you’ve failed at something, consider seeking professional help.
Whether you’ve experienced a failed marriage or you’ve failed in business, talking to a mental health professional can assist you in bouncing back.
Once you've identified your mistakes and where you can learn from them, you'll be ready to make a plan for moving forward. Remember that dwelling on your problems or rehashing your mistakes will keep you stuck. Stop thinking, "I am a failure," and focus on thinking, "I am capable of trying again."
With your new learnings, think about what you’ll do differently next time. Create a plan that will help you put the information you gained into practice.
Facing your fears, however, can be the key to reducing the discomfort.
Practice stepping outside your comfort zone. Do things that might get you rejected or try new things where you could fail.
Over time, you’ll learn that failure isn’t as bad as you might imagine. It will help you learn to face your fear of failure in a way that can be productive and help you reach your goals.
It’s important to accept an accurate level of responsibility for your failure. Taking on too much may cause you to unnecessarily blame yourself.
On the other hand, blaming other people or unfortunate circumstances on your failure will prevent you from learning from it.
When you think about your failure, look for explanations, not excuses. Identify the reasons you failed and acknowledge what you can do differently next time.
Nobody enjoys failing. Fear of failure can be so strong that avoiding failure eclipses the motivation to succeed. Insecurity about doing things incorrectly causes many people to unconsciously sabotage their chances for success.
If you are afraid of failure, it will cause you to avoid potentially harmful situations.
Fear of failure keeps you from trying, creates self-doubt , stalls progress, and may lead you to go against your morals.
Separate the failure from your identity. Just because you haven’t found a successful way of doing something (yet) doesn’t mean you are a failure .
These are completely separate thoughts, yet many of us blur the lines between them. Personalizing failure can wreak havoc on our self-esteem and confidence.
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