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Angela Z.

@angelazz

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Friend of animals everywhere. Hardcore internet enthusiast and avid reader.

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Nov 5, 2020

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Giving and receiving compliments

Receiving sincere and well-expressed compliments can feel very good. But our anxiety about how others may perceive our words can stop us from giving compliments as we don't want to come across as patronising or flattering. 


Yet, studies show that our fears of giving and receiving compliments are unfounded. Letting go of that reluctance can improve our relationships with our friends, family members and colleagues.

Angela Z. (@angelazz) - Profile Photo

@angelazz

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Why we don't dole out many compliments – but should

bbc.com

The Praise Paradox
  • Defining Praise requires two different components: What is being praised and the amount of praise.
  • Talent and abilities can be praised, and the degree of praise is based on the language used.
  • Inflated or exaggerated praise can backfire, lowering a young person’s motivation or self-worth when there are eventual setbacks.
  • It fosters a fixed mindset by adding pressure on the person(who is praised) to behave accordingly.

The Praise Paradox: when well-​intended words backfire - Ness Labs

nesslabs.com

Changing People's Minds

Leadership, by its very nature, involves walking the tightrope, trying to navigate the complex relationships we have with our clients, colleagues and bosses.

Business decisions made by leaders often require buy-in from people who do not think as we do, and are not our natural supporters. There are certain persuasion strategies we can use to overcome this challenge.

How to (Actually) Change Someone’s Mind

hbr.org

Common Errors While In The Company of Others
  1. Talking about yourself too much.
  2. Asking questions only for the sake of discovering secrets and expose someone else's mistakes.
  3. Telling a scripted story and being oblivious to the fact that other people don't care or being aware that others don't care, but still continues to tell the story.
  4. Seeing a conversation as a possible chance to debate or fight. It makes other people walk on eggshells in order to avoid disputes.
  5. Mocking someone for their misfortunes, defects, and deformities of any kind.

Benjamin Franklin on how to be a nice, likable person

bigthink.com

Assertiveness

Assertiveness is behaving in one's own best interests, standing up for oneself without being anxious or guilty, expressing one's honest feelings comfortably, and exercising one's right without denying others theirs.

Practice assertiveness by being firm and demanding yet soft, direct and respectful.

How To Be More Assertive - Darius Foroux

dariusforoux.com

Stories are powerful tools

The ability to create stories helps people to cooperate and move forward. Stories have multiple advantages: They allow us to discern complex situations, remember ideas, communicate with others, and make predictions about the future.

It is vital for managers and entrepreneurs to use these benefits and improve their storytelling skills. But stories can also be misleading. It is crucial to recognise the different ways stories can deceive you.

Don’t Let a Good Story Sell You on a Bad Idea

hbr.org

Raising your voice

Most of the meaning of your spoken words comes from the tone of your voice, not from the words.

Suppose you are the type of person who automatically raises your voice to become the dominant speaker. In that case, you may be damaging your ability to be a better communicator and secure cooperation.

Why do You Yell and Shout when Angry

psychcentral.com

There is a subconscious control going on almost all the time in our behaviour, on how others perceive us, something which is called social dramaturgy.

This behaviour would not be acceptable or palpable for others, if they didn’t participate in this in social environments, resulting in a set of protocols that is agreed upon by all.

Social Dramaturgy: How We Develop Masks to Interact

exploringyourmind.com

  • People think emotionally, so forget facts
  • When people are asked to explain their beliefs about how a given thing works, they’ll actually become less confident in those beliefs.
  • When people have their self-worth validated in some way, they tend to be more receptive to information that challenges their beliefs.
  • During a debate, you’re more likely to make progress if you can appeal to the moral concerns of the people that you’re talking with.

How to Win Your Next Political Argument

thecut.com

Build deeper friendships
  • Evaluate your relationships and find out which friendships need a deeper connection.
  • Make plans that encourage conversation like going to an art exhibit, taking a class, or cooking together.
  • Don't shy away from difficult emotional subjects.
  • Create time to be supportive of them. Deeper relationships take more time and effort to maintain.

How to Move Past the Superficial and Build Deeper Friendships

lifehacker.com

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