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Anika Dhar

@anikad

Australia

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Putting Your Work Out There

If we have a new idea, blog, online content or anything we have created, there is an inherent fear of putting it out into the world for everyone else to see. It is an inevitable fear that most of us face.

If creation is not happening, work is being avoided, innovation not getting worked on, there is a good chance we are living in that fear.

@anikad

The Fear of Putting Our Work Out There - zen habits

zenhabits.net

We are uncertain about ourselves due to the world being dismissive, uncertain and judgemental. We think we risk being labelled as stupid, rejected by others or getting embarrassed.

The real risk of this fear is the possibility that our creativity and abilities will have no impact on this world because we chose to keep it to ourselves.

We must realize that we are avoiding putting our creativity out in the open. Creativity isn’t just composing music or painting. It can be coaching and mentoring, collaborating with others in a meeting, researching, writing emails. Anything that is not administrative or busy work can be a creative task.

For maximum impact, we have to face our fear of avoidance and make it a habit to create and put out our work in the open for all to see, every day if possible.

Where the phrase "I stan" comes from

The phrase comes from Eminem's hit song, Stan. The song describes a superfan that goes to extreme measures to prove his devotion to the singer.

These days, the phrase is slang for a very zealous fan, especially of a celebrity or music group.

The psychology of stanning

bbc.co.uk

One theory is that most of our relationships rely on empathy with people, meaning that we use our own experiences to relate to how we imagine other people feel. For this reason, knowing lots of details about a celebrity can cause a person to develop a heightened level of obsession.

In other words, if you feel like there's some missing information in your life, identifying with people in alternative forums can help.

Being drawn to a fan community can have positive and negative effects.

  • Fandoms can help support and connect individuals, providing a space for long-lasting friendships and romantic relationships to form.
  • Fandom can help us discover who we are and what we want out of life.
  • Learning everything about a particular fan can help give focus, skills and knowledge that you can aspire to.

On the other hand, sharing a contrary opinion could lead to people being ostracised or bullied.

Studies found that if you don't feel as if you belong somewhere, it can lead to mental health problems. Fandom communities provide opportunities to avoid this.

But, only liking people that are 'like us' can lead to 'in-group bias', thinking everyone outside that group is wrong while people who are part of lots of friendship groups or communities tend to be quite open-minded.

People write continuations of stories with different endings, often to bring two characters together who they think should fall in love.

Once you have established a connection with a character or story, you can carry it on forever.

This deep obsession with celebrities can be beneficial for the people they're directed at, bolstering their careers and creating part of the brand. But when the affection turns to criticism, it can have real and lasting negative effects.

Cases of celebrities being stalked by fans can also be problematic as people believe they have a genuine relationship with these people because they know everything about their public image.

The simplest way to get out of a stuck mindset is to do something, anything.

Action is the biggest Motivation. Stop procrastinating and start engaging with the world.

How to Change Your Life

markmanson.net

Recognize that everything you do has a cost decide if you're willing to pay it. Freebies and shortcuts do not work in the long run.

Ask yourself not what you want, but what you're willing to suffer for. 

No One Really Cares

Few people actually care about you. Because you’re not as special as you think and also, most people are too concerned with themselves.

Use this piece of knowledge to liberate yourself and do what you want.

Focus On Habits, Not Goals

It's ok to have goals, but obsessing over them is often counterproductive because, in reality, achieving a goal isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.

Create a system of healthy habits for the most important parts of your life.

Figure Out Who You Are

Self-awareness is extremely beneficial to start to change your life.

There's no way to change your life in a meaningful way if you don't know what you want to change about yourself in the first place.

Focus On Fewer Things

To live a more meaningful life, focus on fewer things, and get good at them, as we have a finite number of days.

Stop Trying so Hard
Trying too hard to make friends or being cool has the opposite, repelling effect.
Just be grateful for what you have, and enjoy simple things.
Edmund Burke
“You can never plan the future by the past.”

Wise Quotes for a Better Life

success.com

Friedrich Nietzsche
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
Dalai Lama
“Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.”
Benjamin Franklin
“Lost time is never found again.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.”
Robert Frost
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
“It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.”
Nelson Mandela
“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.”
John D. Rockefeller
“Singleness of purpose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one’s aim.”
Mark Twain
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
George C. Marshall
“When a thing is done, it’s done. Don’t look back. Look forward to your next objective.”
Henry Van Dyke
“Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.”
Reasons you’re on your phone

Our phones, especially social media apps, may drain our time and energy. Scrolling often starts when you're responding to a message, reading an article, or looking at a few pictures. Then, four hours later, you feel nauseated by the wasted time.

To avoid this, get specific about the reasons you're online. Go through the apps you use most and think about the core reason you want to check each app, the reason why you overdo it, and alternative to help you stick more closely to your core reasons. You may decide to limit your social media to 20 minutes a day, talk one-on-one with friends, or unfollow or muting half the people you follow.

An Actually Useful Guide to Spending More Time Offline

vice.com

If you find yourself posting a lot, ask what specifically you're seeking and if there are other ways that would leave you feeling better.

It's worthwhile to consider what you are posting to the world. Posting stories, tweeting, and messaging lead to back-and-forth responses that glues you to your feeds.

Even if you love a good text conversation, it might mean that you are more online than you otherwise might be.

One solution is to treat your phone like a phone. If you feel uncomfortable phoning, consider informing your friends that you will start calling more often, so they don't assume the worst when they hear your voice.

Apps are not necessarily the best way to communicate personal or semi-private info, nor is it adequate to learn about your friends.

A weekly family FaceTime or a weekly email might be better to stay in touch and is less draining.

We often open apps more out of muscle memory and not a desire to see what is happening.

  • The most effective way for logging off is to rearrange your home screen so that theses apps are a few swipes away.
  • Consider not allowing any notifications beyond phone calls, and maybe text sounds for the most important people in your life.
  • If you need to get work email notifications, use a different mail app for your personal email.

While you want to be informed on the state of the world, catching up via social media is exhausting and time-consuming.

Consider limiting your news to once or twice a day in a more concentrated way, like listening to a briefing podcast or signing up for an EOD newsletter, or going directly to a newspaper homepage.

If you find yourself picking up your phone out of habit or boredom, find alternative ways to spend your time.

If you don't have a hobby, now is a good time to find one. Recommendations would be reading books, making art or gifts for friends.

Identify What Works To Help You Win

We need to convert our mundane, routine tasks into something exciting, turning our work into our own motivation, igniting our energy:

  1. Compete with yourself, beating your own time of accomplishing a certain task like replying to emails.
  2. Work in an impeccable manner, taking a cue from the perfectionists. It is not good to be a slob at home, as it affects our productivity and mindset.
  3. Get ready on time, put on work clothes and feel confident, professional, and productive.
  4. Start your day with a 30-minute stroll or a Yoga session and get your body and mind moving.

3 essential routines you need for a more productive, less stressful 2021

fastcompany.com

Intentional planning helps us achieve our goals and reduce anxiety. Follow the 4-step STAR method:

  • S- Strategy: Review your upcoming goals.
  • T-Tasks: Clarify and identify what tasks are to be done to achieve those goals, and prioritize them.
  • A- Allocate: Resources like time and energy are limited. Allocate your tasks in a way that is least cognitively demanding, takes the least amount of time, and is yet having the maximum impact. Improvise as you go.
  • R-Results: Say no to unnecessary requests, respecting your time. But if you say Yes to a request, follow it through. Work for yourself and not for obligations.

Remote work has made it difficult to receive praise or even a ‘thank you’ for your hard work from the higher-ups.

In 2021, acknowledging and celebrating your success and accomplishments is in your hands. We need to be seen, recognized and valued for our hard work by the team, the company and all the stakeholders.

Become A Faster Learner
  1. Find someone who shouldn’t excel at a skill but does anyway. They’ll have insights that regular experts lack thus giving you more ways to pursue the skill.
  2. Ignore the details and try to focus on the big picture. Once you grasp the key concepts, the rest should flow more easily.
  3. Make bite-sized and attainable goals for yourself to increase likelihood of success. Having defined deadlines with very actionable tasks will get you to the finish line faster.
  4. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, they are part of the learning process. Pushing yourself to get everything right just adds unnecessary stress and pressure.
  5. Ask for help even if you don’t consider yourself a novice. It’s natural to be reluctant but most people are glad to advise and it speeds your learning.
  6. Reward yourself for the steps you take, just enough to keep you going and to keep the morale up.

The Checklist to Becoming a Faster Learner

entrepreneur.com

One mindset to capitalize on

Studies show that positive thinking reduces stress, anxiety, boosts mood, and correlates with greater heart health.

Looking for the upside in every situation is entirely within your control. It is a skill that is wise to practice.

“I’m Dreading This Week” and 2 Other Mindsets to Reframe Right Now

thriveglobal.com

Sometimes we feel that we are out of solutions to the problem we face. However, uncertainty may be the launching pad for creativity.

When you feel stuck, try to tell yourself that being stuck is a good place to help you generate a lot of ideas. Even if your list of ideas feels crazy, that's often where some of the best ideas come from.

When you feel anxious about the days ahead, it might be because there's a daunting task or conversation.

If you're feeling this way, try to pinpoint the source of the stress. Maybe you're running behind schedule, or you made a social plan you wish you hadn't. Once you know the cause, reframe it by listing a few possible positive outcomes to ward off undue worry and stress.

An intimidating project can sometimes make you feel like you can't see your way through it.

If you find yourself doubting your ability to finish a time-consuming task, think of a recent time where you overcame a similar hurdle. You can even write down or verbalise the specifics. "I finished on time and my manager congratulated me on a job well done." If you've done it once, you can do it again.

The tiny house movement

Tiny homes are generally between 100 and 400 square feet, and come in a variety of forms, from small cabins or a trailer to micro apartments.

Tiny houses are really interesting because people design and personalise them. The entire space revolves around a desire to live more modestly while saving resources.

Tiny Homes Aren't For Everyone

inverse.com

*Inspirations for going tiny is environmental consciousness, self-sufficiency, and the desire for a life adventure.

But tiny houses physically demand particular social relationships that not everyone can manage. A family in a little house will likely feel cramped, which can create a chain reaction of stressors.

Those who desire to live in tiny homes show two psychological mechanisms:

  • Clustering. It is the idea that we tend to mix with like-minded individuals.
  • Self-verification. We want to be seen in ways that are aligned with our identities.

If you live in a tiny house, you probably have a high need for uniqueness and enjoy an intellectual challenge - you will have distinct constraints that will require a solution.

While the list of characteristics describing the ideal tiny house candidate is distinct, it appeals to an unexpected broad demographic.

But, similar to NASA, who brings in psychologists to understand how the small physical space of a shuttle will affect the mindset of astronauts, psychologists should be involved in tiny architecture planning.