Arguing isn't completely unavoidable however you should be asking yourself if you were holding your partner 's hand would you still be reacting the way you are. Ask each other if you want the same thing out of it and what the end goal is. No one wins if either feels like they're losing.

Arguments

Ask your partner if it's a good time to talk and if not when would be a good time to talk. Let them know you're on their side and ask them how do we fix this. It should always be both of you vs the problem not you vs your partner. If you're feeling triggered communicate that you need a breather to self soothe and calm down. Remember when you hurt them you hurt love itself.

Conflict

Make time for alone time and self care. Taking care of your significant other is taking care of yourself. If their needs are met they will meet your needs. Just because you're mad does not mean you stop caring...you do not get to withdraw your love. Be the partner you want to have because it will motivate yourself and your partner.

Loving Is Caring

Be vulnerable and tell them what scares you and what hurts you. Let them know what you love about them. Tell them you love the color of their eyes or how their lips curl into a smile when you catch yourself admiring something about them. Check in with each other once a week to talk about what you are personally working on not what you think your partner is doing wrong. It's isn't about pointing fingers it's about showing continual progress. Thank them for their genuine honesty, feelings, and thoughts.

Honesty

Use "I" statements to express your feelings and needs instead of using accusations.

Stop Being Overly Critical

Calling your partner names will only make both of you feel awful. Instead focus on your partner's positive qualities and show gratitude.

Stop Insulting Your Partner

Victimizing yourself only makes things worse. Accept the feedback and criticism. Accept the perspective your partner has. Ask them what they need you to do for them to feel good. Surprise but this isn't just about you this is about them too. You can either yell/shutdown OR you can have your needs met. Accept your wrong doings and apologize.

Stop Getting Defensive

Avoiding, ignoring, and pretending your partner doesn't exist tells your partner that youve withdrawn your love and that they have to win it back. That's not healthy. Instead communicate that you need to take a break and calm down before you can continue the conversation. This doesn't mean ghosting or just walking away. It means saying something similar to "I'm upset and I need a few minutes alone before we can continue this conversation" so that both people are aware.

Stonewalling Is Toxic

I genuinely feel like technology has robbed us of genuine connection. Social media and texts are not the same as get togethers and conversation. Maybe it really would be a good thing to skip texting while working and appreciate each other's time in real life instead. You can't accurately read tone and there is no body language through text making it easy for miscommunication. It puts extra strain on relationships.

Do You Really Need To Text 24/7?

These are all points I'd like to apply to my life to improve my communication and avoid toxicity.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Relationship Tips I Should Use

Detachment allows you to let go of the need for control and it keeps you from letting yesterday's negativity from ruining today.

Being Emotionally Free!

Detachment allows us to become independent which will improve your relationships with others. You'll be able to stop being an emotional burden and you'll start being your own individual self. Placing the stress of your emotions on someone else is cruel. Find hobbies and do the things you enjoy. Your partner and friends are not responsible for your consequences. Accept your bad feelings, find the lesson in it, forgive yourself, and live your life.

Codependency

We aren't supposed to know what happens next. Life would be utterly boring if we knew everything that was going to happen. Learn to be content with where you are and appreciating what you have. Detachment will allow you to appreciate the present instead of obsessing over the past or the future.

Embrace The Chaos

Use detachment to achieve personal growth. You can't change what has happened but you can change how much power the past has on you now. You only have so much control so focus on what you can change.

Growth

Internal peace. Emotional freedom. Living in the moment. Anxiety/Stress relief. Healthy boundaries. Self care. Personal growth. Resilience. Self love. Healthier relationships.

Detachment Promotes:

"You never change things by fighting against the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the old model obsolete."

“The illiterate of the future are not those who can't read or write but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.”

"Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same."

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."

My whole life I've always felt negative emotions when I've seen or heard the word detachment. Turns out it might be something important missing from my life.

Relationship Tips I Should Use

Detachment is Positive.

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