From a young age, we learn how to be a good friend to others. We learn how to share and to treat others how we want to be treated.
Yet, many of us don't receive guidance on how to treat ourselves with kindness. We might even believe that being kind towards ourselves is self-indulgent or weak.
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness with which you'd treat a loved one. Self-compassion consists of three ingredients:
Researchers found that self-compassion helps people take personal responsibility for problems and help them persist when facing obstacles.
If we are self-compassionate, we create a safe space to look at our embarrassing missteps. We can recognise that failures are natural. Without self-criticism and shame, it's easier for self-compassionate people to improve and move forward.
You can either fill your tank with criticism or with compassion. Both will get you moving, but self-compassion will last longer and cause less damage over time.
When you practice being kind to yourself, you will find it easier to get up if you failed at something, apologise after losing your cool, or return to exercising after neglecting it.
It is not an elusive trait reserved for a few lucky ones. We can train our self-compassion, for example, through writing exercises (writing a letter to yourself from the perspective of a caring friend), imagery, or meditations. These exercises can help us respond to ourselves with encouragement and care.
Yet, most people find cultivating self-compassion very difficult. Research found that just changing participants beliefs about the usefulness of self-compassion helped them cope better.
At first, self-compassion might feel odd, scary or difficult. Be patient with yourself. Getting better at self-compassion takes practice.
Planes can fly quite easily without engines, as gliders (planes without engines), paper planes, and gliding birds show us.
A plane's engine is designed to move the plane forward at high speed. The wings move a plane upward. At high speed, the air flows fast over the wings and throws the air down toward the ground, generating an upward force, or lift. The upward force overcomes the plane's weight and keeps it in the sky.
A plane throws the air down behind it by making a spinning vortex - a kind of mini-tornado.
Most of the vortex is moving downward, but not all. There's a huge draft of air moving down in the center, but the air also swirls upward on either side of the wingtips, reducing lift.
If you're in a plane and steering around a circle, the centripetal force comes from leaning into a curve, just like a cyclist leans into a bend.
Steering involves banking, where the plane tilts to one side causing the one wing to dip. The plane's overall lift is tilted at an angle, making some of the lift act sideways. This sideways part of the lift provides the centripetal force that makes the plane go around in a circle. But turning the plane in a circle will make it lose lift and altitude, unless the pilot uses the elevators to increase the angle of attack to cause lift again.
Wings make lift by changing the direction and pressure of the air that the plane comes into contact with as the engines push the planes through the sky.
Air that flows at a certain angle (generally 15 deg) over the top and bottom of a wing follows the curve of the wing surfaces very closely. But as the angle increases (the angle of attack), the smooth airflow behind the wing becomes more turbulent and reduces the lift.
Most aeroplane wings are curved on the upper surface and flatter on the lower surface, making a sectional shape, named an airfoil.
When you change something's direction of travel, you change its velocity - the speed it has in a particular direction. A change in direction always means a change in velocity and acceleration.
Newton's laws of motion state that you can only change the speed of something or change its direction of travel by applying a force to it.
Another way to look at steering is to think of it as stopping something from going in a straight line and going in a circle. That means you have to give it a centripetal force.
Things that move in a circle always have something acting on them to give them a centripetal force. For example, if you're on a skateboard, you can tilt the deck and lean over, so your weight helps to provide centripetal force.
You steer something flying through the air at high speed by making the air flow in a different way past the wings.
Planes are moved up and down, steered from side to side, and made to stop by a complex collection of moving flaps called control surfaces on the leading and trailing edges of the wings and tail. They are called ailerons, elevators, rudders, spoilers, and air brakes.
The second aspect of making lift:
The pressure difference that a wing creates and the downwash of the air behind it generate the same effect: The angled airfoil wing creates a pressure difference that causes a downwash and produces lift.
Many people often make mistakes during their first job offer negotiation. However, it isn't all ill-fated. Negotiating during a job offer takes proper research, practice, and confidence.
Not only is it important to know what you're putting yourself into but also it's extremely helpful to understand if your needs can be met by your workplace.
It requires two important factors:
You can get meta-knowledge by doing good research. This kind of research comes from the interactions with other people and rarely from school or books.
Talking to people who are ahead of you in your career and comparing them to people who aren’t is often a very successful strategy to isolate which skills and assets you need to develop.
When you ask for advice, you’ll often get vague, unhelpful answers.
Try instead observing what the top performers in your field are actually doing differently, to learn what really matters to move forward.
Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung put forth some of the most well-known theories of dreaming.
Recent studies suggest we employ the same neurophysiological mechanisms while dreaming that we use to construct and recall memories while we are awake.
Studies also found that vivid, bizarre and emotionally intense dreams are linked to parts of the amygdala and hippocampus. The amygdala plays a key role in processing and memory of emotional reactions. The hippocampus is implicated in important memory functions, such as the consolidation of information from short-term to long-term memory.
Dreams seem to help us to process emotions by constructing memories of them. The experience in our dreams may not be real, but the emotions we experience are real.
Our dream stories try to strip emotion out of some experiences by creating a memory of it. This mechanism seems to fulfil an important role because it helps us process our emotions.
"Carpe Diem" is Latin for "Seize the day." It underscores the importance of the present moment, telling us to value each moment and to focus on the present.
"Carpe Diem" recognizes the brevity of life, the value of time and the inevitability of death. It tells us not to waste time in contemplation, anxiety or regret.
It means to be active and enjoy the moment.
We spend our life planning and focusing on the future, or dwelling in the past, both of which cannot be controlled. This "Just do it" philosophy makes us aware of our limited time in the world, and encourages us not to postpone things that can be done in the moment.
Instead of overthinking about going to an event, starting your new dream project, or developing a certain relationship, instead of postponing, you can just do the thing you want to do, right now.
Though "Carpe diem" is related to the concept of mindfulness, which involves focusing on present thoughts, emotions, and experiences, there is some difference between the two.
If work is meaningful, satisfying and fulfilling, it leads to productivity and growth. The meaning of meaningful work has changed in 2020, with the health crisis along with widespread anxiety destabilizing the work culture.
As the definition of meaningful work evolves, we need to ask ourselves a few questions to reflect on the significance of our work profile.
If your answer is yes to these questions, it can be a good indicator that you find true meaning in your work.
The amount of effort we are able to put when we are completely in charge and are not working for someone else is astonishing.
While a work ethic and a daily grit towards working consistently is a must, the only time one is really working hard without any stress, and enjoying it, is when the work is just for us.
We need an environment that stimulates our mind and lets it wander, doing activities that expand upon the mystery and wonder that the world provides us with.
A playful, inquisitive mind automatically learns, using the natural, in-built curiosity. This helps us absorb and cushion the upcoming problems of life.
Mindless entertainment does not refuel the drained creative wells of the mind, and only real nourishment is high-quality stimulation like reading, traveling and pondering about life in solitude.
Like a car battery that charges when it is used, the mind needs to be exercised so that it rejuvenates, and eventually becomes what it is fed all the time.
If all joy is sucked out of an activity, it becomes a boring, monotonous robotic job that many of us are stuck with, or have experienced in the past.
A routine life where all activities, belief systems and responses are automated becomes a dead life. If one is doing a job that one hates doing, but is there because the bills have to be paid, then it is the definition of what a job is supposed to be in our society: Stressful work that one hates.
If you love your work, then it is enough motivation to keep going no matter how much rejection or wait there is to catch your big break.
Selling out is like knowingly and intentionally letting go one’s freedom to craft, say and build things of one’s choice, and buying into someone else's system of values, rules and regulations.
Selling out makes creative art as a form of commerce, which prefers efficiency and committee decisions over fulfilling, joyful work.
Your life should not be defined, graded and handled by other people, and having an enviable career is just one of the many ways one can be successful.
The real, rare achievement is to create a life that amplifies one’s values and satisfies the soul.
Well-being can be broken into five elements:
If you improve these, you will be closer to happiness.
Pessimism comes naturally to people because thinking about the bad stuff that could happen helps us to prepare for survival.
The problem is that pessimists think bad events are permanent and unchangeable. "I think my interview is going to be a disaster." We need to learn to recognize what we're saying to ourselves and then argue against it. "I've done many interviews in my life, and they generally turn out well."
Meditation - mindfulness, focusing on the moment - is an excellent anti-anxiety, anti-anger tool..But accepting suffering and finding contentment in that means you can't move into doing something good in the future.
One important idea is hope. Positive human future doesn't come about by accident - it needs hopeful people who plan for it and make it happen.
Sometimes, you might read an inspirational book or listen to an inspirational talk, only to find the inspiration gone the next day. You may feel even worse because you failed to take even one tiny step towards your goal.
That is because this synthetic inspiration has a very short shelf life.
Real inspiration does not come from the outside - it comes from a deep place within us that demands that we take action. The inspiration that comes from talks, movies, or books provokes inspiration but does not provide sufficient follow-through.
Motivation without a clear direction has little value. Direction is insufficient without knowledge, skills, or support.
A small number of people are on the verge of change and need the slightest nudge of inspiration from the outside to start pursuing their goals.
However, it is not the inspiration itself that is long-lasting. Great inspirations work so well because of their ability to help others find their own personal inspiration every day. The real inspiration that will sustain you is deep within you. You don't have to spend on manufactured inspiration, because you found the real thing right under your nose.