15 Contradictions About INFJs - Deepstash
15 Contradictions About INFJs

15 Contradictions About INFJs

Curated from: blog.infjwoman.com

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1. Understanding everyone else's emotions, but not their own

This one is painful; they are constantly the counselors for others and can size up someone else’s issues very quickly. They are very skilled in this area because they do it so effortlessly, almost without thought. Surprisingly, when it comes to their own emotions - they are lost. It takes days, sometimes weeks of hoping for a sign to point them in the right direction. For them, it feels like a hopeless and impossible task to figure out how they even feel.


112 reads

2. Fitting in everywhere, but not being understood

INFJs are social chameleons. They can fit in anywhere and go with any crowd; they don’t always like to, but it is possible if it’s necessary. They have the ability to see people and understand them and their situation - yet they very rarely feel like they fit in and being accepted. It's difficult for them to show people who they truly are and are never really understood.


86 reads

3. Perceptive, yet gullible

INFJs have an amazingly accurate intuition that is highly perceptive. They know things, things about people and about situations. The thing is, they're also very idealistic and want to believe the best in people. At times they tend to ignore this intuition and are too trusting. They can be easily persuaded to believe something that they know is not true at all, especially when they're young. 


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4. Smart, yet confused when it comes to social constructs

INFJs are often highly intelligent. They have a curiosity about them that drives them to ask for the why behind everything. They spend most of their free time researching things, watching a documentary or listening to an informational podcast. They absorb all kinds of information from lots of different places. But this booksmartness about INFJs doesn’t translate to street smarts. They can be naive about certain social constructs that most people are aware of. 


65 reads

5. Calm on the outside, chaos inside

INFJs have a knack for controlling their outward appearance. They put a great deal of thought into making others comfortable. This is one of the many reasons they don’t share their problems with others frequently. Most people never know the chaos that is going on inside of the INFJs mind based on their outward appearance. They can have a complete meltdown inside their heads, but are still calm and collected on the outside, completing their everyday tasks. 


69 reads

6. Lead with feelings, but still logical

INFJs have strong feelings, but they also use the thinking side of their brains as well. They're emotional and logical at the same time. It creates a war between the two sides when they are trying to make big decisions. This can cause them to get stuck in planning mode, going back and forth between following their hopes and dreams or doing something a bit more realistic and safe.


52 reads

7. Idealistic and realistic at the same time

Always searching for perfection, but realizing that it’s not reasonable. It’s a constant battle for INFJs. They know their standards are high, but struggle to find the balance between dreams and reality.


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8. Dreamers and doers

INFJs love to dream. Their imagination is their favorite place to be; but they don’t just live in their heads. They are able to take those dreams and put them to work, make them a reality in come to live. They put in the work, make the sacrifices and watch them come true. 


46 reads

9. Striving to make everyone happy, but still rebellious

INFJs have a deep desire to make those they love happy. They want to do the right thing and be there for them when they need us. But They also want to go their own way and follow their dreams. Sometimes that means rebelling against the status quo. It’s also hard for INFJs to accept the reasoning: “We do it that way because we have always done it that way.”

They're constantly looking for ways to improve things and want to put that natural ability to work. INFJs rebel against any rules or systems don’t make sense to them.


44 reads

10. Wanting to help people, yet needing to be alone

This is a constant struggle. INFJs care so much for those around them hat they will drop everything to show up for them. But they need alone time. It’s not an option for INFJs, it’s a necessity to recharge. 


66 reads

11. Wanting a deep connection to someone, but not open up

INFJs crave a deep connection with one or two people in our lives. They need someone to understand and see us them for who they really are. INFJs long for that connection at times. It’s incredibly difficult for them to share their innermost secrets with anyone.


45 reads

12. Having high standards, but making excuses for people

INFJs standards are incredibly high, about everything. There are very few people that they will make excuses for. But every once in a while someone special shows up and we make all the excuses they possibly can. INFJs want to see the good in them rather than the bad. They are loyal to the core and will do anything for those that they love. 


50 reads

13. Saying too much or nothing at all

INFJs are very good a keeping their cool and not saying too much, most of the time. When they feel comfortable enough to start to open up to someone it can become an avalanche. It’s so rare that INFJs find someone that they can open up to, so when they do we end up saying way too much and regretting it as it is happening. 


49 reads

14. They care about how they look, but hate being superficial

INFJs don’t put too much thought into how they look and dress. They are aware enough about society to know what is acceptable and have a fear of standing out. They put in an adequate amount of effort into looking the best and call it good. 

It’s easy for them to get wrapped up in fitting in with the people that they are around. INFJs don’t want to be superficial, but also don’t want to be obtuse either.


49 reads

15. Hopeless romantic with a dirty mind

INFJs label this one “things that go on in our heads that we don’t like to talk about.”

INFJs have a very active imagination that wanders into some interesting places at times. The possibilities are endless. Some of these things are fun to explore for them with the right person too. 


84 reads



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