How to make friends as an adult: 3 psychology-backed tips - Deepstash
How to make friends as an adult: 3 psychology-backed tips

How to make friends as an adult: 3 psychology-backed tips

Curated from: inverse.com

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Why Do We Need To Make Friends

Lol. This is like elementary school all over again.

We need to make friends because we need friends. While old friends are , nothing stays the same forever. They move away or have their time taken up by child-rearing or their careers. Without friends, loneliness can quietly grow around you and chronic loneliness can be lethal — the equivalent impact of 15 cigarettes a day on mortality rates.

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Why Is It Hard To Make Friends

1. The Lack of Trust

Research shows people found it harder to put their trust in someone new and fully invest in them as a friend compared to when they were younger. Especially the women. As adults, we have greater self-awareness than children. While that is often positive, it also means we’re more aware of the risks of being judged, of being rejected and of other people not having the purest of intentions. We've all seen and heard of the nasty things people could do with what little informafion they get from you.

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Lack Of Time

For most of us, obligations increase with age: demanding work schedules, involved family lives and so on; with these obligations it can be hard to carve out time to invest in a promising new friend-- to really get to know them and to share a part of you with them.

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How Long Does It Take For People To Become Friends

So how long does it take for people to become friends? US researchers have tried to quantify this: roughly 50 hrs of shared contact for acquaintances to become casual friends. More than 200 hrs to become close friends? Even longer in Asian countries where personal connection is important, professional interactions with colleagues don't count and casual check-ins and joking around are just as important.

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Other barriers Preventing Us From Forming Friendships

There are many other barriers stopping us from having the friendships we want.

  • Having an introverted personality
  • health barriers
  • personal insecurities
  • maintaining a formal facade and not allowing potential friends in (fornfear of rejection)
  • Illness and disability (Older people)

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How Can We Get Better At Making Friends

1. BUILD FRIENDSHIPS FOR TEN MINUTES A DAY

Ten min a day may be all you need to maintain existing friendships and build new ones. Send a text, forward a meme, add to the group chat or give someone a quick call.

2. MAKE THE MOST OF ANY TIME SPENT WITH POTENTIAL FRIENDS

When you do get the chance to properly spend time with a friend or acquaintance, make the most of it and be present. Avoid distractions if possible, keep social media for the couch at home.

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3. LEAN INTO YOUR VULNERABILITY

Yes, there is a risk in being vulnerable – but there is also the potential to connect on a meaningful level with another person who may very well become a good friend. You are in control of how much you trust and how much you open up. If you struggle with trust, share personal information slowly. A friend who truly likes you wouldn't pry.

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IDEAS CURATED BY

samsalt

Jack of all people-related trades, master of none. Majored in Psychology, Customer Service Assoc for a few Years, HR Officer for 4, Manager and ESL Teacher for over 11 yrs now, an artist since birth.

CURATOR'S NOTE

Research suggests chronic loneliness can be lethal-the equivalent impact of 15 cigarettes a day on mortality rates

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