How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World

• The belief that you should be someone other than yourself
• The assumption that others will do things the way you would. You can’t control others’ natures, but you can control how you deal with them.

• Intellectual trap: That your emotions should conform to some preconceived standard. You’re in the Intellectual Trap if you let your intellect tell you what you should feel.
• Emotional trap: The belief that you can make important decisions at a time when you’re feeling strong emotions. You can’t. You’re in the Emotional Trap if you let your emotions make important decisions for you.

• Utopia trap: The belief that you must create better conditions in society before you can be free. You can’t change the fate of a nation, but you can do a great deal to make sure you’re not affected adversely by it.
• Certainty trap: The urge to act as if your information were totally certain. You’re in the trap if you make decisions without recognizing the uncertainty of your assumptions and the risk that goes with that. There’s nothing shameful in acknowledging that you don’t have the answers to every question about life.

These are unpleasant situations that restrict your freedom, that you might be afraid to get out of. They could be anyting: bad relationship, job, location, friendship. A big restriction of your freedom is the boxes you allow yourself to stay in, for fear of the work you must do to get out of them.

But there are two things to recognize:

• You’re paying a price every day you remain in the box, and you need to get over the sunk cost that put you there.
• There’s always a way out. You’ll have to pay a price, and that’s uncomfortable, but it’s better than continuing to pay the price of staying in the box.

• Don’t be false, or change yourself based on your environment.
• What you are is the most valuable asset you possess for finding others.
• To make relationships work, each person should have their time alone, their own friends and interests.
• If you feel imprisoned by your parents or relatives, it is you who must make the move to be free.
• Don’t overreact to a difficult relationship by destroying the good parts while trying to weed out the bad.
• You’re better off never worrying about small sums of money.
• When you prove that you’re willing to be honest, others will accept your word more easily.

• Never expect anyone to act from your knowledge, perspective, or objectives. Assume that his viewpoints will differ in some ways from yours.
• Never make an important decision when your emotions are dominating your mind.
• Never lie or appear to be something other than what you are.
• Never invest any resource (time, money, emotional involvement) that you’re not prepared to lose.
• Never take on a new responsibility, time commitment, or liability without recognizing what must be given up to accommodate it.
• Always leave some free time in your schedule to take advantage of new opportunities as they arise.

• Never use someone’s property in any way that he doesn’t approve of.
• Never focus your attention on anyone’s weaknesses — his temper, sloppiness, poor logic, dishonesty, whatever.
• Never quibble over a price you didn’t expect to pay. Pay it and move on to better things.
• Never form a partnership (an agreement in which responsibilities or rewards will be shared) for any purpose.
• Never become directly involved in violence unless it appears to be the only alternative to prevent more serious injury.
• Never forsake your rules because of someone’s actions or opinions.

The purpose of knowing “truth” is to be able to make it work for you. You need the truth in order to deal with things as they are and get predictable results from them.

The specific application for which you need the truth might be different from another person’s. You may want to know the truth of a particular mechanical cause-and-effect relationship so you can fix your car. Others may want that knowledge in order to build a bomb or just to maintain their image as a learned person. The principle is always the same: You want the truth so you can use it to produce a consequence you want.

Recognize that there are such things as miracles — events for which there are no ready explanations.

Later knowledge may explain those events quite easily. But at this date in history, you can’t expect to know everything that might be known eventually.

As you view the identities of others, you make it far easier on yourself if you accept them as they are. Attempts to change others are rarely successful, and even then probably not completely satisfying. – once you understand someones identity then you understand their actions