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Emotional Loneliness
Emotional loneliness comes from not having enough intimacy with other people.
It can start in childhood, due to feeling emotionally unseen by self-preoccupied parents, or it can arise in adulthood when an emotional connection is lost. If it’s been a lifelong feeling, it points to the likelihood of not being sufficiently emotionally responded to as a child.
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Feeling Unseen
The loneliness of feeling unseen by others is as fundamental a pain as physical injury, but it doesn’t show on the outside. Emotional loneliness is a vague and private experience, not easy to see or describe. You might call it a feeling of emptiness or being alone in the world. Some people have called this feeling existential loneliness, but there’s nothing existential about it. If you feel it, it came from your family.
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76 reads
Emotional Intimacy
Children have no way of identifying a lack of emotional intimacy in their relationship with a parent. It isn’t a concept they have. And it’s even less likely that they can understand that their parents are emotionally immature. All they have is a gut feeling of emptiness, which is how a child experiences loneliness. With a mature parent, the child’s remedy for loneliness is simply to go to the parent for affectionate connection. But if your parent was scared of deep feelings, you might have been left with an uneasy sense of shame for needing comforting.
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64 reads
Emptiness
When the children of emotionally immature parents grow up, the core emptiness remains, even if they have a superficially normal adult life. Their loneliness can continue into adulthood if they unwittingly choose relationships that can’t give them enough emotional connection. They may go to school, work, marry, and raise children, but all the while they’ll still be haunted by that core sense of emotional isolation. In this chapter, we’ll look at people’s experience of emotional loneliness, along with how self-awareness helped them understand what they were missing and how to change.
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71 reads
CURATED BY
Ricky Sid Professionally I am a physical therapist. Love outdoors and my kid. Family is the most important thing. Sharing things with you guys makes me learn more of these stuff that I read. Thanks
CURATOR'S NOTE
Although we’re accustomed to thinking of grown-ups as more mature than their children, what if some sensitive children come into the world and within a few years are more emotionally mature than their parents, who have been around for decades?
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