Irina Bălan's Key Ideas from How to Stay Sane in an Age of Division
by Elif Shafak

Stories bring us together, untold stories keep us apart.

We are made of stories - those that have happened, those that are still happening at this moment in time and those that are shaped purely in our imagination through words, images, dreams, and an endless sense of wonder about the world around us and how it works. 

In losing our voice something inside us dies.

My first instinct as a storyteller is to dig into 'the periphery' rather than 'the centre' and focus my attention on the marginalised, underserved, disenfranchised and censored voices. 

There is a part of me that wants to understand, at any moment in time, where in a society the silent letters are hidden.

The moment we stop listening to diverse opinions is also when we stop learning. Because the truth is we don't learn much from sameness and monotony. We usually learn from differences.

We dont' quite understand how the internet works but we don't want to say that aloud because everyone else seems to be ok with that, so we must accept it too.

More and more it feels that, when it comes to digital technologies, all the decisions are taken without us and despite us.

We are confused - but confused has now become a way of life.

We are exhausted by anxiety, consumed with anger, our minds and defences all too often overwhelmed.

Feeling systematically unheard, unsupported and unappreciated can make me painfully resentful, and abiding resentment will probably turn me into a reluctant listener.

The truth is, there are plenty of negative sentiments all around and within us - anger, fear, discontent, distrust, sadness, suspicion, constant self-doubt... but perhaps more than anything, an ongoing apprehension.

An existential angst.

All these emotions are very much part of our lives now. Even digital spaces have become primarily emotional spaces.

We assume that we are alone are stumbling under their weight while everyone else is unencumbered, getting on with their lives just fine. 

Emotions, we are taught to believe, make us look weak. The less we are capable of addressing negative emotions openly the longer it takes us to realise how many people are, in fact, struggling as we are, and how debilitating these silences are to our relations and interactions with others, and how, in an infinite numbers of indirect ways, they shape our societies.

Mass destruction doesn't start with concentration camps or gas chambers. It doesn't start with putting marks on neighbours' doors, just because they are 'different' - or imposing law for minorities to carry particular signs or wear certain clothes. Discrimination always starts with words.

It starts with language.

Knowledge requires reading. Books. Indepth analyses. Investigative journalism. Then there is wisdom, which connects the mind and the heart, activates emotional intelligence, expands empathy. For that we need stories and storytelling.

Now we are universally aware that history can go backwards, that progress is beyond such concerns. Now we are universally aware that history can go backwards, that progress is neither guaranteed nor steady. Democracy is hard to achieve, yet easy to lose; it is an interconnected system of checks and balances, conflicts, compromises and dialogues.

We all need to be more engaged, more involved citizens in whatever we might happen to be in the world.

Do not be afraid of complexity.

Be afraid of people who promise an easy shortcut to simplicity.