How to conquer self-doubt, over and over again - Deepstash

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Why tackle self-doubt?

Self-doubt leads to a lot of self-sabotage, such as:

  • Fear of getting started
  • Analysis paralysis
  • Fear of failure

After trying many things in the past 8 years, these 3 solutions stood out:

  1. Rewire your self-talk
  2. Focus on what you can control
  3. Be kind to yourself

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💭 1. Rewire your self-talk

Self-talk refers to your “inner voice”—the way you talk to yourself.

To rewire it:

  1. Take stock of what your self-talk contains
  2. Rephrase negative self-talk into positive ones
  3. “Install” the new, positive self-talk with affirmations and visualizations

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How to rephrase negative self-talk effectively

  • Use positive, empowering frames
  • Focus on what you can do about the situation, not outcomes

Personal examples:

  • “I’m the most inexperienced person here.” → “I’m a go-getter; what I lack in experience, I make up for it using effort and persistence.”
  • “This failure shows that I’m not good enough.” → “This setback shows me where I can improve. If I learn its lessons, I’ll do better next time. ”

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🧐 2. Focus on what you can control

Despite using affirmations and visualizations daily, my crippling self-doubt returned in tsunami waves whenever I faced a setback.

This was because I was deriving my self-worth from things I couldn’t control.

In general, you cannot control:

  • The past
  • Other people
  • Event outcomes
  • Birth circumstances

You can control:

  • Your plans
  • Your efforts
  • Your response
  • Your consistency
  • Your mind and body

Focus on the second list.

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❤️‍🩹 3. Be kind to yourself

Self-doubt will always come back.

You will always be in new situations that create new fears.

You will always meet new people to compare yourself to and feel inferior to.

In fact, if you're not doubting yourself every once in a while, it could mean that you're not growing!

So:

  • Treat self-doubt like your health. Both require consistent, long-term maintenance, not a one-time fix.
  • Treat mindfulness like an exercise. Do it consistently to reap the benefits.

And when your self-doubt comes back from time to time, don’t beat yourself up over it.

Remember, it’s not a failure, but a learning opportunity ❤️

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Want more ideas like this?

You might like my newsletter, Tea for Thought!

I'm on a mission to implement life-tweaking ideas for designing and living an intentional life.

For every concept I discover, I strive to find examples and stories from my own life. This newsletter issue was inspired by 12 years of personal struggle with self-doubt.

Come learn with me :)

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IDEAS CURATED BY

kyurikotpq

Developer of solutions, people, and self / Living in 7 countries in 4 years of CS undergrad at Minerva University / Intentional living newsletter 👇🏼

CURATOR'S NOTE

After struggling with self-doubt for 12 years and trying to "deal with it" for 8 of those years, here's what I learned.

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