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How to Be More Confident

https://99u.adobe.com/articles/66183/how-to-be-more-confident

99u.adobe.com

How to Be More Confident
...by growing more comfortable with self-doubt. 

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Putting your knowledge and skills in perspective

Putting your knowledge and skills in perspective

When you're feeling notably uncertain about a something, take the time perform an audit, in the objective terms possible.

Ask yourself: What is my knowledge base, and what are my previously demonstrated skills? The former might be lacking, but the latter often equips me to learn quickly.

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Playing the part

Competency requires practice. It doesn't get easier overnight.

Playing the part doesn't mean to just fake it, even if there are some benefits to that, too. Instead, by diving in and doing the work even if you don’t feel 100% prepared, your skillset will start to improve as you get more practice.

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Clarifying questions in uncertain situations

When you’re really unsure, asking questions may be last thing you'd want to do, because it could feel like turning on a spotlight when all you want to do is go unnoticed. But masking uncertainty tends to amplify it.

In many situations, questions are an important tool: the more comfortable you get asking for clarification or help, the smoother the path is down the road.

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Doubt as a strategy

In the right amounts, self-doubt can lead to self-improvement. For this to happen, you need to be able to identify your weak points without spiraling into despair.

Progress starts by zeroing in on areas you need to strengthen and seeking out the relevant information you need to improve.

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Confidence

Confidence

Confidence is hardwired into us from birth. The environment of where we grew up in and how we were raised affects our confidence.

Academic self-confidence is 50% nature and 50% nurt...

The difference in confidence between men and women

Men and women have differences in biological makeups and it also involves their difference in confidence. Women have a biological tendency to seek acceptance and avoid conflict, while men tend to take more risks under pressure. This shows that women might appear to lack inner confidence.

However, despite being perceived as such, studies show that if both given a scientific quiz, men and women provide the exact same results whether they underestimate themselves or not.

The correlation between social classes and self-confidence

Confidence has much to do with space - with how much room you feel able and allowed to take up.

A child that grows up with an affluent family has a different perception of himself than of the child who grows up in a one bedroom home with a single parent that could hardly provide sustenance for the two of them.

one more idea

Telling our origin story

Telling our origin story

Stories of origin come in many forms - how we became part of an organization, or how we emerged as a new person after a crisis.

However, we seldom examine what we include a...

Leadership origin stories

Research found four dominant themes of origin stories among leaders: being, engaging, performing, and accepting.

These themes act as lenses, contributing to how leaders see themselves.

The "being" leadership story

Leaders who use this lens always thought of themselves as leaders. They admit to having a natural call to leadership that started in childhood.

In current leadership, people who use this lens often note personal qualities such as confidence, optimism, and natural leadership styles.

The ability to be a good listener

The ability to be a good listener

The idea of being a good listener is almost a cliche. Yet, most of us are terrible at it.

Becoming a good listener is not that difficult if you know where to start and are ...

Focus on the person, not the problem

Our ability to solve problems is helpful in life, but it is the wrong thing to do in situations when people simply want to be heard, understood, and feel connected.

When someone is scared, angry, depressed, or just upset, they don't want to feel like something is wrong with them. When you give unsolicited advice to someone who is struggling, you make them feel like a problem. Give advice when someone asks for it, otherwise, hold off on your wisdom and instead focus on being present.

Unsing open-ended questions

Being a good listener is not about getting the facts about what made them upset. It is to be supportive, offer encouragement, and empathize.
Ask open-ended questions to communicate that you're interested in them. Avoid questions beginning with 'Why' and use 'What' or 'How' instead. Generic open-ended questions that work well are:

  • What was that like for you?
  • Can you tell me more about that?
  • How did you feel about that?
  • What was going through your mind?