Beyond Reason - Deepstash
Beyond Reason

Beyond Reason

Roger Fisher, Daniel Shapiro


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Address the Concern, Not the Emotion

Address the Concern, Not the Emotion

The core concerns are human wants that are important to almost everyone in virtually every negotiation.

Rather than trying to deal directly with scores of changing emotions affecting you and others, you can turn your attention to five core concerns:

  • Appreciation
  • Affiliation
  • Autonomy
  • Status
  • Role


1.03K reads

How to Make Others Feel Appreciated

How to Make Others Feel Appreciated

Everyone has a desire to feel understood, valued, and heard. When we feel appreciated, we are more likely to be cooperative and productive.

  • Understand the other person's point of view.
  • Find merit in what they think, feel, or do.
  • Communicate your understanding through words or actions.
  • Give them a genuine compliment.
  • Take the time to listen to them.
  • Remember their interests and preferences.


793 reads

How to Build Strong Relationships

How to Build Strong Relationships

Affiliation is the feeling of connection and belonging that we have with others. When we feel affiliated with someone, we are more likely to trust them and work with them cooperatively.

  • Find common ground with the other person.
  • Share personal information.
  • Build rapport.
  • Spend time together.
  • Help each other out.


690 reads

How to Give Others a Sense of Control

How to Give Others a Sense of Control

Everyone wants to feel a sense of control over their own lives. When we feel autonomous, we are more likely to be motivated and productive.

  • Consult with them before making decisions.
  • Give them options to choose from.
  • Allow them to make their own mistakes.
  • Respect their decisions, even if you disagree with them.


646 reads

How to Acknowledge Others' Importance

How to Acknowledge Others' Importance

Status is the feeling of importance that we have in the eyes of others. When we feel respected, we are more likely to be cooperative and productive.

  • Recognize their accomplishments.
  • Give them credit for their contributions.
  • Treat them with respect.
  • Listen to their ideas.
  • Include them in decision-making.


573 reads

How to Find Meaning in Your Work

How to Find Meaning in Your Work

Our role is the part that we play in a group or organization. When we feel like our role is meaningful, we are more likely to be engaged and productive.

  • Identify your strengths and interests.
  • Find a role that aligns with your values.
  • Take on challenging assignments.
  • Make a difference in the world.


547 reads

How to Deal with Strong Negative Emotions

How to Deal with Strong Negative Emotions

Venting is the act of expressing strong negative emotions in an uncontrolled way. While it may feel good in the moment, venting can actually make our emotions worse in the long run.

  • Talk to a trusted friend or therapist.
  • Write in a journal.
  • Exercise.
  • Meditation.


552 reads

Venting Isn’t An Answer

Venting Isn’t An Answer

While many people assume that venting is a helpful way to get rid of strong negative emotions, it often leaves us and others angrier. As we create arguments demonstrating why we are right and others are wrong, we talk ourselves into a storm.

Venting can be helpful, but only to the extent that there is someone to moderate self-justifications and to keep in mind each party’s perspective of the situation.


539 reads



"Beyond Reason" is a book by Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro on how emotions can affect negotiations. The book won the Outstanding Book Award for Excellence in Conflict Resolution from the International Institute for Conflict Prevention and Resolution.

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