Simple Things You Can Do to Become a Better Listener | Carolyn Coughlin | Knowledge Project Podcast

Don't just listen to the words the other person is saying but also try to infer why they are saying them.

Don't operate on the level on semantics but at the level of pragmatics, linguistically speaking. Because once you do the other person feels seen and heard and makes for a much more engaging conversation

People are trying to achieve something when listening.

1. Listening to win. What most people do. When you listen only to put forward your own argument. It is rarely needed and not very fruitful.
2. Listening to Learn. Approaching a conversation with an open mind and actually hearing what the other person has to say, deviod of bias. Harder to do but more generally applicable.
3. Listening to fix. When you understand the problem a person is facing and try to fix it. Powerful in the workplace and with family

It sounds easy and hard at the same time. There is usually a set of questions we keep asking, either ourselves or others. These questions shift our focus to specifics. When you pick up questions that others ask, it allows you to broaden that focus, and in turn become better at asking questions.

While not directly tied to listening, it is very important to keep in mind. She does not mean your social, gender, or political identity but rather who you think you are. Things we say such as "I would never do that" creates this type of identity. Manufacturing an Us vs Them.