Self-Trust and How to Build It - Deepstash
Self-Trust and How to Build It

Self-Trust and How to Build It

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What Self-trust Actually Is?

Self-trust is not trusting yourself to know all the answers, nor is it believing that you will always do the right things. It’s having the conviction that you will be kind and respectful to yourself regardless of the outcome of your efforts.


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How Is It To Be Self-trusted?

When we look at examples of people who are self-trusting, we find that they have clarity and confidence in their choices. They are interdependent, which includes healthy dependency, not overly dependent or hyper-independent. They speak with authority that comes from a deep place within but is not arrogant. They are good observers and have cultivated the ability to learn from their experiences, both the successes and failures.


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Regret undermines self-trust

Regret itself is not the problem; what keeps us stuck in regret is the resistance to feeling the full depth of it. It’s overwhelming when we don’t have the inner resources to hold the magnitude of the remorse.


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Avoiding the inner critic undermines self-trust

When we buy into the negative voice, we diminish our self-trust. Trying to escape the inner critic and ignoring it by drinking or drugging, or other distractions will empower it. The way to build self-trust is to relate to the inner critic and show it that it is taking a seed of truth and blowing it out of proportion.


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Ways to get to know the critic by being curious about its nature

  • What is the inner critic?
  • Where does it come from?
  • What is its intention?
  • What does it want from us?
  • What is its agenda?
  • What is its job?
  • Is it educable?
  • Is there any way other than adversarial to relate to it?
  • How do we stand up to the inner critic?


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I was looking for ideas to decrease self-blame and I came up with concept of "self-trust" which was new to me. Therefore I decided to share it here. Hope you find it efficient!

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