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Forming opinions before trying to get all of the facts straight leads to bad decisions, poor choices, and further frustration down the line. In many cases, it exacerbates the problem.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
We are all in competition, even if we prefer to discount it. Our achievements are only evident relative to others. You swam further, dance better, or got more Facebook Likes.
We are judged by what we can do for others. For instance, saving children or removing a tumor. Social reward is just a network effect. Reward comes down mostly to the number of people you impact.
However, we judge ourselves differently. We judge ourselves by our thoughts. “I’m a good person”. “I’m better than this.”
We think the judgements of our bosses and parents and politicians are unfair and silly because they don't agree with us. And we believe they should agree with us.
However, most of them are just trying to do their best, under different circumstances to your own.
Specific vocational skills are essential - coders should be able to code, salespeople should be able to sell. But, we also need soft skills. By only focusing on the seemingly essential skills...
Organizations know how to measure vocational skills. They know how to measure typing skills for example. However, they are less able to measure passion or commitment.
Organizations hire and fire based on vocational skill output. But, getting rid of a negative thinker or a bully is much more difficult. An employee that demoralizes an entire team is hampering productivity.
If you've got the vocational skills, you're of little help without the human skills. The soft skills, or rather real skills, can't replace vocational skills, but amplify the things you've already been measuring.
For instance, a team member with all the traditional vocational skills is the baseline. Add to that perceptive, charismatic, driven, focused, goal-setting, inspiring, motivated, deep listener, and you have a team member that will benefit the organization in exponential ways.
When preparing to tell someone what they did wrong, avoid using qualifications like "With all due respect," "No offense," or "Don't take this the wrong way" to soften crit...
... and if you must amplify your message, say where your data came from. Never try to simultaneously be a good cop and a bad cop.
Make it clear that your goal is constructive change.
Be concrete and don't sermonize, even if the person that's receiving your criticism knows she did something wrong.