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The problem isn't that life is unfair - it's your broken idea of fairness
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Life is a competition
We are all in competition, even if we prefer to discount it. Our achievements are only evident relative to others. You swam further, dance better, or got more Facebook Likes.
We should recognize that there is competition going on. People interview to win jobs. And the best is only available to those who are willing to compete and fight for it.
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You’re judged by your actions
We are judged by what we can do for others. For instance, saving children or removing a tumor. Social reward is just a network effect. Reward comes down mostly to the number of people you impact.
However, we judge ourselves differently. We judge ourselves by our thoughts. “I’m a good person”. “I’m better than this.”
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Fairness is self-interest
We think the judgements of our bosses and parents and politicians are unfair and silly because they don't agree with us. And we believe they should agree with us.
However, most of them are just trying to do their best, under different circumstances to your own.
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Life isn’t fair
Life would not work if it were "fair" to everyone. Companies would only fail if everyone who worked for them were evil. Relationships would only end when both partners died simultaneously.
Most of us are so blinded by how we think the world should work that we fail to see how it does work. You can only unlock your potential when you face reality.
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Richard Koch
Life Is Math
When you feel stuck, don't blame your bad luck, the economy, your fate or other people. These things have nothing to do with you unhappiness,
You must find the patterns in whatever you’re trying to achieve.
There’s Always A Pattern
Keep searching for it. Make mistakes and learn from them. Read books to learn even more from other people’s failures.
Whatever kind of success you’re looking for, don’t stop until you’ve cracked the code.
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Belonging To A group
Quickest way to add meaning to your life is to see your group of people more often.
Not part of a group? Join one. No groups to join? Start one. It’s as easy as texting people to...
Give Your Work A Purpose
It is less about what you do and more about how you see what you do.
Qualities a purpose needs:
- It's a stable and far-reaching goal. You need something that motivates you and that you can organize your actions around.
- It involves a contribution to the world. It makes a difference in the lives of people who don’t happen to be you.
Craft Your Story
You have a story you tell yourself about your life — whether you realize it or not.
A trend in the stories that people with meaningful lives tell themselves - redemption stories: the tellers move from suffering to salvation — they experience a negative event followed by a positive event that resulted from the negative event and therefore gives their suffering some meaning.
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Key Ideas
We're feeling different griefs
We feel the world is different, and although temporary, we know it will not be the same again.
We feel the fear of economic turmoil and the loss of connection. And we're grieving c...
Anticipatory grief
Anticipatory grief is feeling unsure of what the future holds. It is that same feeling when someone gets a grave diagnosis.
We know there is a storm brewing, and it breaks our sense of safety on a micro and a macro level.
Managing all this grief
Understand the stages of grief and realize that the stages are not linear.
Denial: The virus won't affect us.
Anger: You're taking away my freedom.
Bargaining: So, if I social distance for two weeks, will everything will be better?
Sadness: I don't know how this will end.
Acceptance: This is happening, and I have to figure out how to move forward.
Acceptance is where power lies. We find control in acceptance. "I can..."