The 7 Unwritten Rules of Trust: How to Navigate the Minefield of New Relationships - Deepstash

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How to Navigate the Minefield of New Relationships

How to Navigate the Minefield of New Relationships

I remember the knot in my stomach as I walked into my new office a year ago.

A new team, a fresh start, and a nagging uncertainty – would they ever trust me?

Building trust can feel like navigating a minefield. You never know if you’re too greedy or too cautious. But what if I tell you there are some secrets to unlocking those barriers and fostering genuine connections?

In this issue, I’ll share the insights I’ve gathered on my journey. And I will give you practical tips to help you build trust bridges for lasting relationships.

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The Trust Rulebook

The Trust Rulebook

I am not a shy person. And I usually speak a lot with people when I meet someone new. But not if I am in an unknown territory.

Things get complicated if you don’t know the place or the people. You are out of your comfort zone. So you can’t reach the same confidence level, even if you have some.

In those moments, a trust rulebook would be a fundamental resource. Therefore, I will give you seven suggestions to help you get from awkward introductions to lasting trust. Here are the 7 unwritten rules of trust.

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The Challenge

The Challenge

You are reading an excerpt from The Challenge, a newsletter where I discuss self-improvement, goal-setting, habits, time management, and health tips and tricks.

Every week, you will get the following:

  • a challenge to pursue to improve your life
  • an infographic to track it.

Subscribe now to help me continue publishing this type of content.

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1 – Don’t change your attitude.

1 – Don’t change your attitude.

Whenever I enter a new group, I want them to like me. I change my attitude based on people’s mood and style. But when I started my new job, I understood that wasn’t me.

I am not a shy person who only answers questions. I am the one making them! And I felt awful and wrong when I tried to mimic a more passive style.

Then, with time, I turned back to my old habits. And now, I speak and laugh a lot, and I have fun with people always bantering.

I feel happier. I feel better. And people love interacting with me. Whenever I enter the room, they feel my presence. And I have to say – I adore it.

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Tips & Tricks

Tips & Tricks

  • Be yourself no matter the circumstances. You better fail by showing yourself than thrive but feel dead inside.
  • People will sense you faking a behavior. You are not an actor – you can’t pretend to be someone else.
  • Stick to what worked for you in the past. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Behave as always, and you will build trust with the right people.

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2 – Be friends with anyone. (1)

2 – Be friends with anyone. (1)

When you are friends with everyone, you’ll never be alone. And that’s a good thing.

But the best thing about being friends with everyone is they will compete for your attention.

I don’t want to manipulate anyone, ok? But that’s what happens when you build trust and relationships with everyone in the group.

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2 – Be friends with anyone. (2)

2 – Be friends with anyone. (2)

At my workplace, I used to interact only with my team members. But then I switched teams twice and got to know all my colleagues.

I didn’t have a great relationship with my old team members. But as I went out with others, they became more careful and available.

They invited me to go out with them more often. And I think they were jealous because they felt abandoned (even if I never did it.)

So, by building friendships with everyone, they entered a competition for my attention. I notice that happening sometimes. And I love feeling the center of attention.

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Tips & Tricks

Tips & Tricks

  • Being friends with anyone doesn’t mean you have to build deep relationships with the entire group. A little bit of trust with everyone is enough. Make them feel validated by your words. And they will stick with you.
  • Storytelling is the best way to build trust. And you don’t need to share your deepest thoughts. Tell them about something nice that happened to you. They will try to share something similar, and there you are – you built a connection. Every time you interact with them, you have a fallback plan.

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3 – Speak your soul out.

3 – Speak your soul out.

Once you build a trust bridge with everyone, you can pick your preferences and go deeper with them. You can transform that trust into lasting friendships or even love interests.

So how do you build deeper trust with someone?

It’s simple – you speak from your soul. Tell them private things whenever you feel they are ready for it. Show your feelings – they will support you if they care.

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Pick a preference

Pick a preference

In Italian, they use “preferire” as the verb to express a preference. But that word comprises two parts:

  • “Pre,” which means before, or first.
  • And “ferire,” which means to hurt.

So, be careful because your preferences might hurt someone if you remove your attention from them.

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Tips & Tricks

Tips & Tricks

  • Wait for a moment of weakness when people will open up more. And when that happens, it’s your moment to share a deep story. There’s only one thing to be careful about – you must find a connection to what your interlocutor was saying.
  • Not everyone likes to show weaknesses. But there’s a way you can unlock them. If someone stays by themselves or fades out, ask them two questions. First, are you okay? Second, are you sure?

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4 – Admit mistakes and failures.

4 – Admit mistakes and failures.

Nobody loves the I-know-everything type of person – that’s one thing we could all agree on.

They are often arrogant. They make people feel stupid. And they have little empathy to understand what’s wrong with their behavior.

Also, helping others feels terrific – this is another thing we could all agree on.

It empowers our image in front of others and trust in ourselves. So, when there’s someone in need, we will probably help them if we can.

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Tips & Tricks

Tips & Tricks

  • Reveal your mistakes and failures and show people what you learned. Those confessions will give you something to laugh about together. And they will incentivize people to share ideas and similar experiences.
  • Ask for help whenever you don’t understand something. People love to be helpful.

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5 – Promote big gatherings.

5 – Promote big gatherings.

Going out in small groups, you will only connect with a few people. And, especially in the beginning, the risk of awkward moments is very high.

But if you promote big gatherings, it becomes easier.

  • You can speak with more people and connect with all of them.
  • There can’t be awkward moments because you can simply talk with someone else or include them in the conversation.
  • And you can showcase your role in the group, whether you are a leader or anything else. You will find your place.

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Tips & Tricks

Tips & Tricks

  • Ask people if they want to go out and tell them they can bring who they wish. It will make them feel safer and more willing to go out.
  • Don’t insist too much. Everyone has a private life and might not want to share why they can’t come.
  • Use the rule of thirds. If somebody refuses three times, don’t ask them again for a few times or do it more rarely.

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6 – Show confidence.

6 – Show confidence.

I often discuss confidence in my articles because it’s the turning point in people’s lives. However, I receive messages from readers who say they are too introverted to show confidence. Yet, confidence has nothing to do with being an introvert or extrovert.

Confidence is about standing your ground and telling your ideas.

Speak up if you disagree with someone. Don’t live the life someone else chooses for you. And show people you are not afraid to fight for your ideas.

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Tips & Tricks

Tips & Tricks

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7 – Help others thrive.

7 – Help others thrive.

There’s a big difference between an acquaintance and a friend. And if you want to enter the second group, you must help people thrive.

When I was in high school, I only focused on my success. I wanted to crush the competition and rule supreme. So, I had no friends.

Later on, I changed. I tried helping others thrive, and they brought me with them.

People want to share their recognition if you ever help them. And most of them will always be grateful. So, help others and be a giver – you will double the benefits.

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Tips & Tricks

Tips & Tricks

  • Listen carefully to spot requests for help. Sometimes, people won’t admit they need help (been there.) But they will appreciate your offering solutions.
  • Don’t make people feel stupid. Suggest new ideas and things they may want to try. But allow them to solve the problem by themselves. They will grow faster and feel more empowered.

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THE CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK

The only way to build trust and lasting relationships is by being yourself and showcasing your good and bad traits.

Not everyone will enjoy both. But at least you tried.

So, this is your challenge of the week.

Focus on a strategy to build trust in people. Pick one and use it. But don’t forget about the others in case you need them.

[SUBSCRIBE TO DOWNLOAD THE FREE TRACKING INFOGRAPHIC]

THE CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK

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Before you go

Before you go

If you loved the newsletter and want to support my work, subscribe and share The Challenge with your friends and families!

Or, if you want to read more of my content, visit the Cosmopolitan Mindset.

Subscribe now to help me continue publishing this type of content.

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CURATED BY

cosminangheluta

Passionate about self-improvement, personal growth, finance, and creativity. I love to inspire people to become the better version of themselves. Author @ www.cosmopolitanmindset.com

CURATOR'S NOTE

Nervous about building trust in new relationships? Learn communication secrets & actionable tips to navigate first impressions and build lasting connections.

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