What Choices Do You Make? - Deepstash
What Choices Do You Make?

What Choices Do You Make?

Curated from: vertexviews.wordpress.com

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Choice Is Uncomfortable

Choice Is Uncomfortable

“Choice is uncomfortable,” says Ann Weber, a psychologist from Asheville, North Carolina. “It makes us feel responsible.” “The advantage of indecision is being blameless,” she says. “But the disadvantage is losing control of your life.”

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What Is Indecisiveness?

What Is Indecisiveness?

Indecisiveness is fear of the future. Once you act, you usually find it’s not as horrific as you thought. Start by breaking down decisions into small steps. With personal investments, for example, you don’t have to learn about the whole stock market. Just learn what you need to know about the investments you want to make. Hernacki believes most decisions aren’t critical and can be managed with commitment. He says decision-making isn’t always easy, but his history of making choices has changed his approach. “I get out there and make them.”

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Types Of Indecisive Personalities

Types Of Indecisive Personalities

Jane Burka, a psychologist from Berkeley, California, identifies several types of indecisive personalities. Perfectionists, for example, would rather avoid a decision than risk making a mistake. Non-compromisers want it all and feel compromised if they have to give up anything. Freedom lovers face many options and don’t want to commit to one. They want their options always open. Dependents are people who trust others more than they trust themselves.

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The Common Link

The Common Link

The common link between these types is a lack of self-esteem. This often traces back to upbringing. A perfectionist may come from a family in which mistakes were criticized. A dependent could have been told they made bad decisions and finally stopped trying.

San Diego writer Mike Hernacki believes his lack of confidence and indecisiveness came from his strict upbringing. His parents avoided praising or complimenting their children. “I could bring home 10 As and a B and my father would say, ‘What’s with the B?’”

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How To Be More Decisive?

How To Be More Decisive?

Psychologists Meryle Gillman and Diane Gage advise indecisive people in their book, The Confidence Quotient: 10 Steps to Conquer Self-Doubt. They suggest recognizing negative messages they’ve received and visualizing a doubter, like a critical parent, and a supporter, imagining them working positively together. The more decisions you make, and the more you see the world won’t fall apart either way, the more control you have

If you want to be more decisive, start by forcing yourself to make several small decisions every day. Don’t wait until you feel in total control.

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CURATOR'S NOTE

Overcoming indecisiveness involves recognizing its roots in upbringing and self-esteem issues. Psychologists suggest visualizing supportive and critical voices to overcome doubt. Making frequent, small decisions builds confidence.

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