How to speak so that people want to listen | Julian Treasure

Gossip involves speaking ill of someone who isn't present.

It's damaging and breeds distrust.

As the speaker notes, "The person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us."

Judgmental people make others uncomfortable.

It's hard to listen when you feel evaluated and found wanting.

Negativity is draining.

The speaker recalls, "My mother, in the last years of her life, became very negative... it's hard to listen."

This extends to complaining, which spreads misery rather than joy.

The another form of Negativity is Complaining

We complain about weather, sport, about politics, about everything

But actually complaining is viral misery

It's not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world

The Art of Habits (Its Free)

Making excuses and passing blame, instead of taking responsibility, is frustrating for listeners.

We've all met people who deflect blame – it's off-putting.

Exaggeration, or embroidery, dilutes the truth.

It can lead to outright lying, which erodes trust.

Confusing facts with opinions, or dogmatism, is problematic.

It’s difficult to engage with someone who presents their opinions as absolute truth.

To speak powerfully and effect change, focus on the principles encapsulated in the acronym "HAIL":

1. Honesty

2. Authenticity

3. Integrity

4. Love

Be clear and truthful.

"Honesty is being true in what you say, being straight and clear."

Be yourself.

Stand in your own truth.

Authenticity resonates with others and builds trust.

Keep your word.

Do what you say you will do.

Integrity fosters reliability and respect.

Wish others well.

This doesn’t mean romantic love, but a genuine goodwill towards others.

"If you're really wishing somebody well, it's very hard to judge them at the same time."

Your voice is a versatile tool with various elements to explore:

1. Register

2. Timbre

3. Prosody

4. Pace

5. Silence

6. Pitch and Volume

Before any important speech, warm up your voice with these exercises:

1. Deep Breath and Sigh: Arms up, deep breath in, and sigh out.
2. Lip Buzz: Go "Ba, Ba, Ba" and "Brrrr" to wake up your lips.
3. Tongue Exercises: Exaggerate "la, la, la" to loosen your tongue.
4. Rolling Rs: Roll your Rs for clarity.
5. Siren Sounds: Start with "we" (high) and go to "aw" (low) to vary pitch.

Imagine a world where we speak powerfully to attentive listeners in environments designed for sound.

By avoiding negative habits and embracing honesty, authenticity, integrity, and love, we can transform our communication.

Let’s create sound consciously and consume it mindfully, fostering a world of understanding and connection.

Remember, your voice is a tool for change. Use it wisely and with purpose.

Next time you speak, think about the impact you want to make – and make it count.