Any chore becomes a humongous, stressful task if the right motivation is not behind it. Something that you don’t want to do, but still have to, makes it an undesirable activity.
This happens because one tries to do something, without really intending to do so. Trying makes us focus on the difficulty of the task, repelling us from the activity.

Why We Think Some Chores Are Stressful

<ul>
<li>When the task is guided and motivated by a pure intention, the inevitable obstacles become interesting challenges, like a video game that you want to play and win.</li>
<li>Performing a task with a wholehearted intention makes all the difference and turns your work into a delightful activity that you look forward to.</li>
<li>The distinction of trying vs intending is a litmus test for all the struggles and challenges that one faces in life.</li>
</ul>

Being Intentional In Your Daily Activities

<img src="https://www.raptitude.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/mops550.jpg" width="550" height="309" alt="Post image for Don’t Try, Intend">At some point in my house’s 112-year history, someone installed thick, white, nine-inch high baseboards that mostly act as highly visible shelves for dirt.Whenever I try to clean these baseboards, I quickly get annoyed and discouraged. There are seemingly miles of them, running in and out of closets, behind furniture, and underneath power cords and dangling spider plants.Unlike sweeping, vacuuming, or dishwashing, there’s no stable posture from which to clean baseboards. It’s always an act of ongoing contortion. Each obstacle interrupts the flow of what is already an awkward task.The other day, however, I cleaned my office, including its baseboards, with none of the usual struggle. The difference was that this time I cleaned them without the entering the psychological state of trying to clean them. I skipped the whole idea of trying.This mental shift happened because, as I had determined earlier that day, I must have a clean home office again in order to get anything done in the work-from-home era. Things were bad. A fortress of books had accreted on my desk, and nothing had been wiped or dusted since spring. I didn’t even go in there anymore. Productivity had reached trough levels, and my semi-permanent outpost at the kitchen table was an obvious factor in keeping things dysfunctional.The necessity of getting the office back to spotless meant baseboard-cleaning could not be avoided, and so I brought a different verb to the task. Rather than try to clean them, I intended to, and that made all the difference.When your labor is guided by intention, obstacles do not annoy or dissuade. The cloth will simply go beneath or around, as it must. The potted plant will be moved and wiped behind. The body will assume whatever positions need assuming. The intention ensures this.In any apparent attempt to do a thing, there may or may not be a real intention to do that thing. If you intend to do a task, it will be done unless it can’t be. Trying to do a task means almost the opposite: if there’s a way it can remain undone, it probably will.The tryer fixates on the difficulty of the task, and hopes for relief in the form of success. The intender fixates on success and navigates any difficulty arising on the way.Why try when you can intend? Well, tries are much cheaper than intentions, and they do accomplish things — just not usually the task itself.We learn by the end of toddlerhood that the verb try doesn’t mean, “Wholeheartedly attempt,” but rather, “Show you are not entirely avoiding the task.”&nbsp;“You didn’t even try it!” they say. So you try the green beans and spit them out and the adults are satisfied.In such instances, the task of eating your vegetables or cleaning your room was neither accomplished nor seriously attempted. However, a performative facsimile of intention is usually enough to silence any nagging, demonstrate that the task is too difficult, or even assuage your own guilt about not bothering.Here’s my uneducated hypothesis: the childhood politics of trying can leave adults with the habit of sometimes engaging in tasks without a real intention to complete them.That might explain my complex relationship to baseboard upkeep, and why you often get out your textbooks but don’t actually study — and why neither of us are necessarily lazy for it. &nbsp;If you happen to be a superachiever, this distinction between trying and intending might sound absurd, since you are always intending. That is why you’re a superachiever.However, if doing and achieving seems more complex for you – if, like I do, you struggle to get certain ordinary tasks done, you might benefit from periodically asking yourself, “Do I actually intend to do this right now?”If the answer is yes, then get to it. If the answer is no, you’ve gained two things: clarity about why you’re struggling, and a chance to form a real intention, and finally move towards the prize.***Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@zhenhappy" dir="ltr">Pan Xiaozhen</a><h3>
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At some point in my house’s 112-year history, someone installed thick, white, nine-inch high baseboards that mostly act as highly visible shelves for dirt. Whenever I try to clean these baseboards, I quickly get annoyed and discouraged. There are seemingly […]

productivity

Productivity

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

habits

Habits

problemsolving

Problem Solving

timemanagement

Time Management

At some point in my house’s 112-year history, someone installed thick, white, nine-inch high baseboards that mostly act as highly visible shelves for dirt. Whenever I try to clean these baseboards, I quickly get annoyed and discouraged. There are seemingly miles of them, running in and out of closets, behind furniture, and underneath power cords and dangling spider plants. Unlike sweeping, vacuuming, or dishwashing, there’s no stable posture from which to clean baseboards. It’s always an act of ongoing contortion. Each obstacle interrupts the flow of what is already an awkward task.

The other day, however, I cleaned my office, including its baseboards, with none of the usual struggle. The difference was that this time I cleaned them without the entering the psychological state of trying to clean them. I skipped the whole idea of trying. This mental shift happened because, as I had determined earlier that day, I must have a clean home office again in order to get anything done in the work-from-home era. Things were bad. A fortress of books had accreted on my desk, and nothing had been wiped or dusted since spring. I didn’t even go in there anymore. Productivity had reached trough levels, and my semi-permanent outpost at the kitchen table was an obvious factor in keeping things dysfunctional.

The necessity of getting the office back to spotless meant baseboard-cleaning could not be avoided, and so I brought a different verb to the task. Rather thantry to clean them, I intended to, and that made all the difference. When your labor is guided by intention, obstacles do not annoy or dissuade. The cloth will simply go beneath or around, as it must. The potted plant will be moved and wiped behind. The body will assume whatever positions need assuming. The intention ensures this. In any apparent attempt to do a thing, there may or may not be a real intention to do that thing. If you intend to do a task, it will be done unless it can’t be. Trying to do a task means almost the opposite: if there’s a way it can remain undone, it probably will.

The tryer fixates on the difficulty of the task, and hopes for relief in the form of success. The intender fixates on success and navigates any difficulty arising on the way. Why try when you can intend? Well, tries are much cheaper than intentions, and they do accomplish things — just not usually the task itself. We learn by the end of toddlerhood that the verb try doesn’t mean, “Wholeheartedly attempt,” but rather, “Show you are not entirely avoiding the task.”

“You didn’t even try it!” they say. So you try the green beans and spit them out and the adults are satisfied. In such instances, the task of eating your vegetables or cleaning your room was neither accomplished nor seriously attempted. However, a performative facsimile of intention is usually enough to silence any nagging, demonstrate that the task is too difficult, or even assuage your own guilt about not bothering.

Here’s my uneducated hypothesis: the childhood politics of trying can leave adults with the habit of sometimes engaging in tasks without a real intention to complete them. That might explain my complex relationship to baseboard upkeep, and why you often get out your textbooks but don’t actually study — and why neither of us are necessarily lazy for it.   If you happen to be a superachiever, this distinction between trying and intending might sound absurd, since you are always intending. That is why you’re a superachiever.

However, if doing and achieving seems more complex for you – if, like I do, you struggle to get certain ordinary tasks done, you might benefit from periodically asking yourself, “Do I actually intend to do this right now?” If the answer is yes, then get to it. If the answer is no, you’ve gained two things: clarity about why you’re struggling, and a chance to form a real intention, and finally move towards the prize. ***

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Don’t Try, Intend

Why We Think Some Chores Are Stressful

Being Intentional In Your Daily Activities

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