Tell Me Who You Spend Time With, And I Will Tell You Who You Are - Deepstash

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Tell Me Who You Spend Time With, And I Will Tell You Who You Are

https://medium.com/@RyanHoliday/tell-me-who-you-spend-time-with-and-i-will-tell-you-who-you-are-2b4865358e19

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Tell Me Who You Spend Time With, And I Will Tell You Who You Are
James Altucher calls this your 'scene.' As Jim Rohn put it, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. As my dad told me once as a kid, "Ryan, you become like your friends."...

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Audit your time

Audit your time
  • Look at your peers. Is this who you plan to become? 
  • Look at your Facebook feed.
  • Look at the blogs you read. Are they helpful or click-baitey?
  • Look at the games you play and how much time they suck out of your life.
  • Look at the pointless arguments you get into.

These influences are acting on you, consciously and otherwise. 

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The influence of entourage

The influence of entourage

Who we know and what we do influence what we'll become: What we do puts us around people. And the people we surround ourselves with help set the baseline for what we think is ok, what we think is possible and what we’re exposed to.

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Jim Rohn

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Networks

Networks
A network is about creating a peer group around who you are and who you want to be. It’s about what you bring to the table too. 

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Finding inspiration

Finding inspiration

You don't have to know personally those you admire. From influential contemporary figures to historical ones, you can still follow them afar. History, for instance, has great individuals who stand as timeless examples of what it means to be impressive.

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Become very good at living each day

Momentum is created or destroyed every day with the first few decisions you make.

If you learn to master your day, you’ll learn how to master your weeks, months, years, and life.

The things your brain needs in order to thrive

  1. Nutrition: Quality of food you put into your body matters.

  2. Oxygen: The amount of oxygen your brain gets determines how well it functions.

  3. Information: If the brain isn’t firing, it’s not wiring, and this ages it.

  4. Love: The brain thrives on physical touch and emotional connection.

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Fear Is Real

Fear is everywhere and yet fear can be overcome, controlled and can even be a power for good.

Accept your fear relative to you.

Get Some Perspective

  • Are you really at risk?
  • Will this kill you?
  • If the worse was to happen what would it be?
  • Could that really happen?

  • If the worse did happen, how would you recover?
  • If the worse were to happen, what would you need to do next?

By seeing fear as not the end destination but part of being human, you can see through its wily evil ways and move forward.

Hold a Hand

Think of someone you can always rely on, be it your friend, partner, colleague, parent, sibling and say: “Right I need to deal with this, and I’m going to need you to help me.” 

They, in turn, will feel valued, loved and respected.

A relentless focus on positivity is ineffective

When someone is going through a hard time, insisting they stay strong is ineffective.

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The shallow bonds of positivity

Seeking out people who draw out the positive side only can make you feel alone in your moments of vulnerability.

The relationship becomes a performance of happiness and creates a wedge between you.

The signs of misplaced positivity

Be aware of how your friends react to your sunny attitude. If it makes them perk up, you are doing good.

However, if your encouragement makes them withdraw, your positivity might be misplaced.