5 Hidden Reasons You Lack Discipline (And How to Build It Like a Pro)

I loved the creativity part because it doesn’t require any effort. I loved getting excited about what it could have become. But then, I didn’t last much.

After yet another failure, I’d had enough. I needed to figure out what was wrong. So, I started reading about discipline and searching for feedback. That’s how I solved my discipline problem.

If you’re struggling with discipline, you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and most of your friends and familiars are there too. But you can fix it if you understand the five biggest reasons why people lack discipline. Then, you can overcome them.

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What if I mess up? What will people think?

I used to have those thoughts every day.

When you work on projects you care about, the pressure is higher. You want them to be perfect. You wish to succeed. And you feel a much higher social pressure as if you were taking an exam.

But fear of failure and judgment stops you from taking action. You procrastinate because you prefer not to try than risk looking foolish.

Procrastination feels safer for some reason. But once it wraps you with its comfortable arms, your project is done and dusted.

So, how do you escape the fear of failure and people’s judgment?

Focus on the process, not the outcome.

Most people are too busy worrying about themselves to judge you. But the spotlight effect makes us believe they are observing us.

The spotlight effect is the tendency to believe that others are paying more attention to us than they are. We feel like we’re under observation as if a spotlight focuses us in the center of the scene. But it’s all in our heads.

How often do you think about others and their failures?

Not that much, right? So, why should other people think about you?

Shift your focus on your work instead. Take small, steady actions and celebrate effort rather than results.

Studies show that people who focus on progress rather than perfection are more likely to develop long-term habits.

Carol Dweck’s research on the growth mindset highlights that using failures as learning experiences builds resilience and discipline. So, focus on the lessons you may learn instead of what could go wrong.

At first, your goal is exciting. But after a while, the thrill fades, and all that’s left is hard work. Suddenly, the thing you love feels like a chore.

I abandoned my goals many times because they became boring. But I always failed to keep my interest high. And that’s a common problem in a world where we keep searching for stimuli.

The first time, I tried solving the issue through variety. I thought switching things up could trigger my interest again. But it’s not reliable.

• Variety will work for a while. But if you think long-term, you will run out of ideas.
• Also, there’s a problem with too much variety — it slows down your skill. You become faster and better when you repeat the same daily task. But if you switch it up, you start over every time.

You won’t stick to your goals if you find them boring. And you can’t fight using only willpower and variety. So, how can you solve the lack of excitement?

Align your actions with your purpose.

Stop searching for excitement — that’s how you solve the lack of it.

Find a purpose that replaces excitement. Find an emotional connection that keeps you hooked. Otherwise, you will quit the moment things get tough.

Reignite your enthusiasm by reminding yourself why you started.

Are you struggling with a project? Reconnect with the bigger picture.

Why does it matter? Think about it. Write your thoughts and look at them every morning. Your reasons will fuel your motivation.

And if you still need some extra excitement, you can try gamification. Apps like Habitica turn goal-setting into a game, rewarding you for completing tasks. The rewards are nothing special, but they might give you enough boost to keep going.

If excitement is missing, find a way to make it fun without tipping over the task.

At first, I thought being overwhelmed meant being disciplined. So, I overloaded myself with tasks to prove I could handle it.

But it doesn’t work like this.

Feeling overwhelmed makes you postpone tasks. And later, postponed tasks become deleted tasks.

Have you ever looked at your to-do list and decided to watch Netflix instead? Did you feel a headache coming and felt you were too exhausted to work on your goals that day?

It wasn’t exhaustion, not necessarily. It could have been too much complexity or too many tasks.

Overwhelm kills discipline. When something seems too big or complex, we avoid it. So we need to simplify, but how?

Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps.

I repeat this in almost every issue, but small tasks are simpler. If you want to do more, you should break your tasks up as much as possible.

Recently, I set a goal to write a book. But in the beginning, I undermined the amount of work it takes. I created a Write a Book task on my Notion planner. But then, I understood it was too overwhelming. So, that’s what I did.

• I created three tasks for the topics and market research.
• Then, I created another task for the structure definition.
• The book will have around 12 chapters, so I created one macro task for each.
• I created three steps for each macro task: outline, first, and second draft.
• I defined a macro task for editing and 12 subtasks for each chapter.
• Then, I defined 12 subtasks for the review and one for the final check-up.

I never wrote a personal growth book. I don’t know if these tasks are enough. But can you see the structure?

Finishing those smaller tasks is much simpler. And it gives you momentum.

Self-discipline is challenging when no one is watching. And nobody is watching. Otherwise, we would have had a problem with the first point. And that’s why you might meet deadlines at work (because your boss is monitoring) but struggle with personal goals.

If left unchecked, we rationalize, make excuses, and slip back into old habits. And nobody is punching us because of that.

The problem seems unresolvable.

• If you feel the pressure of people watching, you might stop working.
• But if nobody is watching, you might have the same result.

So, how do you fix it?

Get an accountability partner.

The solution exists, and it is an accountability partner.

In 2019, a study by the American Society of Training and Development found that people are 65% more likely to achieve a goal when they share it with someone. That number jumps to 95% with regular check-ins.

So, do you want to stay accountable?

Find someone who will keep you in check. It could be a friend, a mentor, or even a coach. If you trust that person, you will feel enough pressure to get to work, but it will be low enough so you don’t abandon your goals.

Publicly committing to your goals — like announcing them on social media — adds pressure. I don’t recommend it. But you can use an app if you still can’t find an accountability partner.

Solutions like Habitica or Beeminder make progress visible (and can even charge you money if you fail). Now, that’s a motivator!

Distractions are this century’s illness.

Imagine sitting down to work, but then ding! — a notification grabs your attention. Five minutes later, you’re watching cat videos on Instagram.

Does it happen often?

We design our environment to steal our focus. We always keep our smartphones on — sometimes, we don’t even remove the vibration. Every single signal explodes with curiosity and dopamine in our brains. It is so strong that being disciplined becomes impossible.

So, how do we fix this? We can’t get rid of our phones!

Minimize distractions with a focused workspace.

Calm down! I won’t force you to throw away your phone. But turn off those notifications. They are the biggest usability idea yet the worst invention ever (for our discipline).

Also, if internal thoughts are the problem, dump them onto a notepad before starting your task. And design your environment to foster discipline.

A study from the University of California, Irvine, found that it takes 23 minutes to regain focus after an interruption. That means every scroll through social media wastes time. So, block all entry points.

• Use website blockers like Freedom or Cold Turkey if you need a browser to work.
• Use apps like Opal that block other distracting apps if doom-scrolling is your problem.
• Set specific work hours for distractions and stick to them.

Discipline is challenging because it has a lot of enemies. But they are not invincible.

I desired iron willpower for most of my life, but it wasn't what I needed.

Discipline is a skill. You can build it. You can improve it. And you can set up ways to make it easier.

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