What is Love? The Science Behind Lust, Attraction, and Attachment

Lust refers to the inborn need for sexual gratification or the sex drive to pass on one's genes. It is about finding as many partners as possible to pass on your genes. Another word for this is libido, which comes from Latin and means "desire."

Various factors influence a person's sexual motivation:

• Cultural factors, such as upbringing, parents' views, circle of friends, and the media one is exposed to.
• Psychological factors, such as stress, trauma, and thoughts about one's body image.
• Biological factors, such as age, genetics, and hormone levels, can affect sex drive.

• The hypothalamus in the brain controls the sex drive. During puberty, the hypothalamus communicates with the pituitary gland, which in turn communicates with the testicles in males and ovaries in females.
• This leads to the release of hormones such as testosterone and oestrogen, which increase the sex drive. Testosterone is also crucial in women.

Attraction refers to an emotional connection with someone and romantic love, where you invest your energy in a particular partner.

Conscious and unconscious factors play a role:

• Physical attraction is related to a person's health and fertility. Other positive characteristics are also attributed to attractive people (halo effect).
• The mere-exposure effect states that the more often we see people, the more we like and desire them.
• Similarities also play a role.
• Women can smell genetic differences and men can smell women ovulating.
• A deeper voice can signal to women that a man has more testosterone.

• The Ventral Tegmental Area (VTA) is rich in dopaminergic neurons that release dopamine (pleasure, motivation, pursuit of fun things).
• The VTA communicates with the nucleus accumbens (pleasure) and the prefrontal cortex (planning, decision-making).
• During the attraction phase, novelty and euphoria play a role: Novelty leads to a surge of dopamine, while euphoria is associated with noradrenaline.
• There is a decrease in serotonin levels, which can lead to obsession and rumination.
• The prefrontal cortex and amygdala are deactivated, which can lead to poor decisions and overlooking negative traits.

Attachment is the long-term commitment to be with someone that provides feelings of security, calm and a reduction in the stress hormone cortisol. Another term for this phase, from Robert Sternberg's theories of love, is companionate love.

There are a few reasons why people are monogamous in the first place:

• If the male is present, he can protect the child from predators.
• It's easier to be with a mate than to constantly fight for a mate.
• Females needed more space to find more food, which forced males to spread out as well (spacing effect theory)

The following hormones are responsible for bonding in the brain:

• Oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone, is released during bonding, birth and orgasm.
• Vasopressin is also involved in cuddling and bonding.

Genetics also play a role.