How To Read People: 5 Secrets Backed By Research - Barking Up The Wrong Tree
bakadesuyo.com
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Current Context
- Ignoring context : Crossed arms don't mean much if the room is cold or the chair they're sitting in doesn't have armrests. Everything has to pass the common sense test given the environment. So ask yourself: "Should someone in this situation be acting like this?"
- Not looking for clusters : One of the biggest errors you make is looking for one single tell. That's great in movies about poker players but in real life it's a consistent grouping of actions (sweating, touching the face, and stuttering together ) that is really going to tell you something. So ask yourself: "Are most of this person's behaviors associated with X?"
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Historical Context
- Not getting a baseline : If someone is always jumpy, jumpiness doesn't tell you anything. If someone is always jumpy and they suddenly stop moving - HELLO. So ask yourself: "Is this how they normally act?"
- Not being conscious of biases : If you already like or dislike the person, it's going to affect your judgment. And if people compliment you, are similar to you, are attractive ... these can all sway you, unconsciously. (I know, I know, you don't fall for those tricks. Well, the biggest bias of all is thinking you're unbiased .)
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First Impressions
Good News: your first impressions are usually pretty accurate .
Bad News: whether they are wrong or right, first impressions affect us in a big way and we are slow to change them .
First impressions are often quite helpful but you have to be willing to update them quite rapidly. That's what's very hard to do.
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