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Give Better Advice by Reminding People of Their Values
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Listening To Advice
Most people hear out the advice given to them out of politeness or obligation, with no intention of every following it, no matter how practical or beneficial it may be.
Our ego doesn't let us follow advice. The keywords that we say before we dole out the advice seem to matter more than we think.
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Pre-suasion
Reminding people about their core values before any advice is provided, makes them more receptive towards it.
When the person thinks about their core values, an area of their brain called the Ventromedial Prefrontal Cortex (VMPC) gets activated, making them take some tangible action towards your advice. This pre-suasion before we influence any person (for their own good) is important and essential if we want them to follow genuine advice.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Avoid tension and build rapport
This underscores the importance of starting on the right foot. If you upset the person you’re trying to help, they’ll wall themselves off.
It's important to use empath...
Focus on collaboration
To get someone to act on your advice, it’s going to mean giving up at least some of the credit for it.
When the person receiving your advice feels like they had a hand in creating it—with guidance from you, the expert, of course—they’re far more likely to act on it.
Show your work
In this case, you’re showing your work because it instills trust, and trust is critical for acceptance.
When you show you work, the person you’re advising doesn’t have to take your recommendations on blind faith. They can see exactly how you got to your advice and buy into it along the way.
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Personal Values (And Why They Matter)
Personal values are the things that are important to us, the characteristics and behaviours that motivate us and guide our decisions. For example honesty or kindness.
Values matter
Define Your Personal Values
Find out what characteristics or ways of behaving makes you feel good. Answer the following questions:
- What's important to you in life?
- If you could have any career, without worrying about money or other practical constraints, what would you do?
- When you’re reading news stories, what sort of story or behaviour tends to inspire you?
- What type of story or behaviour makes you angry?
- What do you want to change about the world or about yourself?
- What are you most proud of?
- When were you the happiest?
Prioritise Your Personal Values
Once you’ve come up with a list, it's important to prioritise your values.
It can help you get even closer to defining what’s important to you. Prioritising helps you to ensure that you’re spending them on the most important things that'll have the biggest payoff in your life.
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Your personal core values
... are there to guide behavior and choice.
Get them right and you'll be swift and focused in your decision-making, with clear direction.
Get them wrong...
5 Steps to Identify your values
- Think through and describe the following in detail: What have been your 3 greatest accomplishments and 3 greatest moments of efficiency and what are any common themes that you can identify?
- Think through and describe the following in detail: What have been your 3 greatest failures and 3 greatest moments of inefficiency and the common themes that you can identify?
- Identify 3-4 brief sentences of advice you would give to yourself based upon these commonalities.
- Try and reduce them to a few words.
- Test the value. Think of a situation where following your core value hurts you rather than helps you.