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Win Debates Without Being Unfriendly
Normally, any debate has the potential to turn into an ugly match, due to the fact that both the sides are trying to win. The problem is that one person will win the debate, and two people are trying for the coveted title of ‘winner’.
The trick is to change the premise that one plays on, forgetting that you have to win, but focussing on a different goal, rather than the sole aim of proving that the other person is wrong and you are right.
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The Common But Wrong Strategy Of Debating: Logic
Logic is not the best strategy for winning a debate. Any logic has plenty of counter logic waiting to pounce on it.
A simple NO can wash over:
- Any overwhelming facts and proof explaining why one is right.
- Any valid counterpoints to the other person’s arguments.
We falsely assume that our explanation is bulletproof, and forget that the other person has a choice to not agree with us. We could say the sun exists, and the earth is round, but the other person can simply say ‘No’.
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How To Win An Argument: Changing Premises
Instead of trying to persuade someone that they are wrong, try to create a different premise. You can debate to learn something, or to see the other person’s viewpoint, understanding why they disagree. You can also politely put on the table what you think about the topic, not waiting for them to change their mind.
The fun part is when you are not trying to win an argument, you usually do.
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How To Win An Argument: Heated Debates
Certain topics are bound to start heated debates. It is usually the case with politics and religion.
Empathy and a general politeness even if the other person is saying something absurd and obviously wrong (The Earth is flat and dare you say otherwise) represent the way to go.
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Debating: The Three Strategies To Cool Off The Other Person
- Agree with them: Find the common point where you can agree with the other person.
- Help them with their argument: They will be surprised if they see you taking their side and proving yourself wrong. This is a disarming tactic that shows you are not dogmatic and are not trying to win at any cost.
- Accept that your point of view isn’t perfect: We all are biased towards our own point of view is the right one and think that we are not biased about it, which by itself is a blindspot.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
The Larger Idea Behind Boosting Your Resume
Should you try to boost your resume? While the answer appears simple that anyone would like to work on getting credentials and experiences that look good on paper, the larger question includes a bi...
Not Trying to Please People
An argument for not trying to please people: You should never work on something with the sole purpose of adding it to your resume.
- The benefit of this outlook is it makes you highly independent. Satisfaction comes from within, not from other's opinions of you.
- The downside is that you need to deal with people. Trying not to please people might isolate you and your ideas. You might need to get a degree if your dream job requires a degree, even if the degree itself is worthless.
Boosting Your Resume: An Argument for Marketing
The world is driven by marketing. When you interact with other people, you need to know how to sell yourself. This means that you would want to fill your resume with activities that look good.
- Instead of being focused on yourself, you craft an authentic story around yourself that is driven by a strategy.
- The downside is that its hard to separate your independence from what other people think of you, knowing that you need to market to them.
Open-ended tasks
Open-ended tasks are any tasks that don't have a definite endpoint. Activities like "studying", "working" or "tweaking" waste your time and cause ...
Relax without a guilty conscience
When you have countless open loops in your life, you will never be able to relax.
- Define exactly what you need to do. In blogging, it could be getting a certain traffic volume or sustaining a certain posting rate.
- Define exactly what you will commit to. There will always be more to do. Close the ends by defining the amount you are willing to commit to.
- Define exactly the tasks that need to be done. Make a to-do list for each day and week.
- When you've finished, stop and enjoy your time off.
Examples of open loops
Once some people complete their to-do list, they add more work. This is a dangerous move that can sabotage your productivity.
Sources of open loops:
- Studying. Do you have a specific list of learning activities, or do you just "study"?
- Exercising. Do you follow a workout, or do you just exercise?
- Work. Do you work from 9-5, or do you finish a list?
- Writing. Do you write in hours, or number of words?
- Communication. Do you speak when it's important, or just of fill dead air?
Memorizing Speeches
- Once in our lives, we'll be able to get the chance of speaking in front of many people, doing declamations or oratorical and memorizing a speech is a useful skill to learn.
The Sculpting Phase of a Speech
There are two ways you can write down your speech:
- How you want to say it;
- As an outline or a skeleton.
When you've written it down it's going to take more than several times to figure out what you're trying to say and this is the sculpting process where you edit, add, or delete parts of your speech to make it sound better.
The Memorization Phase of a Speech
- The key to memorizing a speech is to memorize it hierarchically. You begin with the broad chunks, moving to specific paragraphs, phrases, up until the intonation and your timing with the words.
- When starting with the chunks you simply write out the main points of the speech then cover them up and recall them.
- Moving up to the small points you can expand your bullets to represent each idea with one or two key words and quiz yourself until you have it memorized.