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Life During a Lockdown

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/27/world/coronavirus-lockdown-relationships.html

nytimes.com

Life During a Lockdown
Across the world, the pandemic is radically altering approaches to love, dating, sex and family relations. MONTREAL - After the pair had sanitized the tops of their beer cans, Morgane Clément-Gagnon, 33, gazed at the lanky musician she had newly met online, sitting two feet away on a bench in a Montreal park.

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Redefining love

The current global epidemic has transformed relationships, dating, and sex. 

Lovers and family members are suffering aching separations as borders have closed. Weddings have been postponed and everyday choices, like whether to meet a potential suitor, have become matters of life and death.

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Redefining communities

  • The pandemic is influencing and changing the way we define a community, with people across the world gathering every day on balconies to applaud medical workers, perform music and even run marathons.
  • Millions of single people stuck indoors have turned to the internet to go on virtual yoga dates, attend karaoke parties or blow out candles at WhatsApp birthday get-togethers.

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The shortness of life

Lockdowns around the globe are giving rise to a new togetherness for some and amplifying friction and conflict for others.
The external global context makes you realize that life is short. So if someone is in a bad relationship, they're probably going to decide to leave while they still can. Or the total opposite, decide that they might as well get married and have kids.

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Internet And Marriage

At least one-third of all marriages in the U. S. are now between partners who met online and researchers say online meeting-based marriages happen more quickly after the first date.

The Non-Divisive Effect

Before the Internet, dating was mostly restricted by one’s social and geographical limitations with friends of friends being the most common method of introduction. The Internet pairs couples that wouldn’t even meet otherwise.

Research also indicates that you're more likely to date someone from a different race if you're dating online, by a factor of about 7 percent. 

Combating Social Stratification

There's a troubling trend towards exclusive, private membership-based dating apps that only allow very rich or very popular people, essentially creating a dating bubble that socially isolates people by class.

By using less restrictive apps we have the widest possible pools of potential dates, rather than aspiring to something more exclusive, we're keeping ourselves open to more random love connections that cut across lines of race and class and everything else that divides us. We're doing our part to keep society more open, less stratified. 

Friend-zoning

Friend-zoning is a notion that men and women have different perspectives.

Men are more frequently attracted to their opposite-sex friends, even if they state that it's just a platonic rela...

We Don't Know Ourselves

A recent study showed that men overestimate how good-looking they are to women. Women, on the other hand, think they are less attractive to men, which is not the case.

People who think they are highly attractive may incorrectly assume that the other person is sexually interested in them.

Taking The Lead

Men look for signs or attraction more than women do, like it has always been. Men initiate the love and take the lead, deciding to move out of a platonic relationship faster than women.

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Go Sooner Than Later

Most couples don't consider counseling until a real crisis or a catastrophe appears.

It is better to go to couples counseling during a specific life event, strengthening some piece of a rela...

Finding The Right Therapist

Finding a suitable therapist, right for both the partners can take time. Take into consideration:

  • Both partners are comfortable with the choice.
  • Any preferences (gender or cultural background) are taken into account.
  • It should be convenient to schedule an appointment with him, not interfering with other commitments too much.
  • At least two kinds of counselors are spoken to, and then a decision taken.
  • Check online for recommendations or ask for a referral within your friend circle.

Types of Therapies

A good therapist can utilize multiple approaches and will tailor the provided therapy based on the couple's needs. The common therapies are:

  • Gottman Method: Focused on positive communication
  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): helps couples with their emotional needs.
  • Imago Relationship Therapy: Connecting new relationships with old ones.
  • Other approaches like Hypnosis, sex therapy, etc.